You Are Not Committing A Crime Against Women If You Like Being In A Relationship


I keep coming across articles that list “20 reasons why you should enjoy being single in your 20’s”, “16 reasons why being alone is healthy”, “ Summer is made for freedom”…. You get the idea.

I will be honest, I read every single article but I have yet to have the epiphany.

I will be the first to say I hate being single, and I am not comfortable being alone. This, yes, does spawn from insecurities and an insatiable need to be validated by the opposite sex. I however, do not view wanting to be in a relationship or spend your twenties dating one person seriously as a horrible attribute. Any time this conversation is brought up I am met with the same response and reaction from people. “You are young, enjoy it while you can, you have all the time in the world to be in a relationship.”

I understand that being young is something that you should treasure and value, but how is it that being in a relationship simultaneously has such a negative connotation to want to spend your twenties making memories with someone other that yourself or your girlfriends? Is it wrong to yearn for a deeper connection that watching awful romantic comedies with your gal pals on a Saturday night? I find myself with a long list of failed relationships and an even longer list of evenings spent in my backyard downing beer and after beer with close friends discussing how we internally all want the same thing. Human connection.

I spend the majority of my time working, which has recently made me realize I would like to have a reason to step away from that every now and then. Saying that you don’t need a man to be happy is valid. I would like to point out there is a huge difference between needing and wanting something.

You are correct, I do not need a man to be happy. Has it ever crossed someone’s mind though, that I want a man to be happy with?

Another phrase tossed around so much is, “You can’t love someone until you love yourself.” Thank you for that wonderful piece of wisdom. Has the idea ever occurred to you though, that maybe a man can point out things and make you realize that you have more qualities to love about yourself than you even realize?

It amazes me that people are stern about not needing a relationship, or being with someone, or vocalizing how we need to be alone in our young age to discover who we really are. I want to discover who I am with another person intimately. I want someone to point out my odd quirks and stubborn behavior because I don’t realize them.

There is nothing wrong in with wanting to curl up on the couch with someone and watch documentaries. It is completely ok for you to get excited at the idea of someone taking you out to dinner, to wine and dine you. It is more than acceptable for you to want to share your time off with another person that is interested in you physically and intellectually. You are not committing a crime against women if you admit that you like being in a relationship no matter if you are 22 or 62. There is no rule stating that you are less of a female because you don’t enjoy spending your time away from the worlds stress by yourself. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog