6 Ways To Text A Lady

Shutterstock
Shutterstock

Text messages are new. So there wasn’t enough time for our parents generation to teach us as children to know how to handle a lovely lady via text. But it is of the most importance in this generation as a tool to get laid. It’s like having a sports car was in the 1980s. I imagine.

Most guys are cowards, so it makes it easy for a guy that’s going to follow these directions and you’ll get mad bitches. If a girl is stupid enough to give you her cell phone number, follow these steps.

1. Send a dick pic

Bitches love tiny crooked dicks sent to their cell phone. When they say they don’t, they’re fucking lying. When I send mine, I make sure their is a parrot or something dope in the background.

2. Say vague stupid shit like “Hi” or “Hey”

Then when they respond say “What are you doing” to really keep the boring small talk going. It gets girls wetter than the band on the Titanic.

3. Send another dick pic

I cannot highlight this point enough of how much beautiful women love dick pics. And a lot of them. Send one from another angle. Maybe with a drawing of Yoda on it.

4. Send another message

If she hasn’t answered or even if she has, annoy the hell out of her. Keep sending messages. So she cannot get you out of her head. If you send 16 messages without an answer your name and dick pic will seep into her subconscious. The bitch will dream about you so hard bro.

5. Threaten her if she doesn’t answer

She’ll get hella wet, bro. Then go into some other fucked up aspect about how if you jerk off outside of her window it will increase her property value. Notebook shit, son.

6. High five yourself

No woman can resist these steps. By now she is either engaged to you, or pregnant as shit. Good job bro. Mission accomplished. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog