Latest Posts

How to Be Twee

Pat your love interest’s head when they say something you approve of. Pet the underside of their chin and whisper four letter words like “soft,” “nice,” and “face.” Lie on the floor listening to “1979” by the Smashing Pumpkins and make irrelevant commentary about forest animals before making out. Wait till the song ends before moving to the bed.

Book Clubs…

Book clubs—the phrase alone conjures up the taste of white wine and melty cheese cubes and a vision of copies of The Deep End of the Ocean, only the first halves even slightly perused. We can thank Oprah for this template, despite her best intentions, but it’s also kind of a primal urge to get together and drink, and a slightly-less primal urge to conceal this liquoring-up behind the veneer of literature.

Traveling to Europe Didn’t Change My Life

In Europe I learned many important life lessons. I learned that I don’t like one night stands. That spending the day munching on tapas and reading Patti Smith’s memoir in a local cafe, can be just as crucial as spending the day photographing every inch of the Sagrada Familia.

On Beauty and Being Wrong: Nicole Kidman’s Oeuvre

Kidman is, of course, slavishly well-shot and edited and given a million plum moments in the film, so I guess my appreciation of her was incidental, but it was real! She was everything an actress is supposed to be – surreal and fantastical but recognizably an actual person.

Things I Learned From Females Who Are Not My Mother

Roseanna has tried to kill herself thirteen different times. She has made a career out of creative suicide attempts. She is seventeen and smart and stupid. I asked for a pencil she says and the idiot doctors gave it to me, so I erased all the skin on my wrist. I rubbed it raw until I bled. She is not allowed to use pencils, paperclips, tweezers, plastic forks and knives, but she is permitted access to spoons.

I Got Downsized

Recently, I got downsized. Boy, did that suck! Now, I’m looking for a new job. Mostly, I’m a writer, so this isn’t easy. Although, I have also discovered there are other ways one can make money these days. Here are a few of them.

Interview with a Female Funeral Director

Sarah Wambold, 26, is an Austin, Texas-based funeral director-turned-patient navigator and writer. After getting her funeral director’s license in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Wambold spent three-and-a-half years working as a funeral director. I asked her about what it’s like to deal with dead bodies on a daily basis, the secret lives of female funeral directors, and what sex has to do with death.

I Know What David Lynch Wants

A man sits on a toilet. A woman in a blue dress, who appears to be a sex worker, gyrates before him. He reaches for her, but she is beyond his grasp. This is the intriguing premise of a new music video created by SHELLBOOKNATIONAL, a team of three young British filmmakers, for David Lynch’s “I Know.”

On GChat

People who select “busy” as their GChat status, which turns the circle next to their name red, are not usually busy. When you type something to a “busy” contact, the program warns: “[Contact] is busy. You may be interrupting.” “May,” indeed. If they were busy, they’d be invisible.

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