When Faith Hits Rock Bottom

If you are emotionally and spiritually exhausted, you are not alone. Rock bottom sucks. And the worst feeling is thinking that you’ve hit rock bottom, only to learn that you’ve barely scraped the surface of it.

You are not alone.

Maybe you said something, miscommunicated, blew a big project, made a lot of people angry, and none of it was intentional. You truly, honestly, did not mean for any of this to happen. Now, the doors you once prayed for to open are being slammed in your face, and the failure could not be any bigger.

You are not alone.

You question your choices, your mistakes that pile up and stink and make you feel like a failure. You ask God,

‘How did I mess up so much?’

People say that things are going to get worse before they get better, but frankly, they keep going downhill.

Now what?

It’s hard, being in the hopeless position. No matter how much scripture you read, music you listen to, people who tell you they love you, nothing is able to lift your spirits. Not even prayer. You start to wonder if the Lord really is there, and if He truly hears your cries,

’God, where are you?’

’Why is this happening?’

’What is your plan?’

’Why are you shutting a door you once opened?’

’Are you re-directing me? I’ve worked so hard for this. I’m not done.’

’This season has been too long. What’s wrong with me?’

’Why? I thought we already hit rock bottom. How are you using this for my good?’

You beg and plead with God. You turn to the Bible for answers. You re-read the same scripture that has given you joy in the past and wonder how it pertains to now. You think about Job, Moses, David, and the trials Jesus faced and see the hope in their stories but do not see the hope in your own.

You are not alone.

You feel worthless. You want to run and hide, and escape the pain. You might even think that the world would be better off without you.

It wouldn’t be.

If you have ever felt like this, I am telling you, you are not alone. Let me repeat, You. Are. NOT. Alone.

Yes, there is God and yes, that is enough, but that longing for a human who is also feeling the same thing?

Hi. I’m right here, I exist, and I feel it too. I want you to know that this feeling is valid. There is nothing wrong with you. This feeling sucks. And, yes, you are going through it for a reason.

James 1:2-4 says to take joy in the trials, because they build perseverance. That’s an easy one to understand. But it goes on to say that the perseverance will do its work so that you may be whole and complete, not lacking anything.

So, you must persevere. That might mean going through the longest days of your life, existing. Breathing. That’s the side of persevering that is the most difficult to understand. We always equate showing struggling to persevering. Sometimes, perseverance is just quietly getting up in the morning, and going to bed at night.

Now, you must be lacking something. Not the kindest words to hear when you are already at your lowest point, but the truth is that perseverance will do its thing so that you are complete and not lacking anything. Maybe you once lacked a teddy bear when you were a child. And once you attained the teddy bear you were lacking, remember that joy?

You would not be going through this tough season if you had it all. Maybe you thought you had it all, so that’s why this season is particularly painful. You didn’t know what you lacked.

But, all things work for those who love the Lord. So, something good will come out of this, right? So says hope. But the Bible promises,

You will receive what you once lacked.

What a gift! How fortunate are you? God is giving you a gift-not in the trials, as we are sometimes told to believe (silver lining, anyone?) but with the outcome. That gift is incredibly special, and incredibly difficult to understand.

It is not a perfectly finished project, the relationship you have been craving and praying about, the opportunity you have been looking for. Those too are gifts from God, although they are not the ones you are about to receive.

The one you are set to receive is far more precious. God is working on your heart during this incredibly difficult time. A gift for your heart does not come often. God may be making you more patient, humble, obedient, cautious, or kind. There are many more gifts He could be wrapping up for you, as the above list is not comprehensive. Gifts for the heart do not come cheap.

They require your time, desires, plans, and thoughts. They are all consuming, and once you have received God’s gift, you will truly never be the same.

Do you really want a gift that requires you to sacrifice so much? Are you ready to give up the life you know so you may have a new one with the gift Christ is giving you? Is it worth it?

Yes to all of the above. Is it scary? Absolutely! Why trust someone who has led you into troubled waters? Your enemies can’t swim, that’s why. God needs us to trust Him.

God’s timing is perfect, as hard as it is to believe right now. He moves according to His time, not yours. And maybe, patience is just one of the gifts you are about to receive from Him.

God loves you so much. He sees you at this time, and hears your prayers. He’s working while you sleep. He’s working on your heart to prepare it for the gifts it is about to receive. This new version of you? They are going to be incredible.

TCID: anonymous

About the author
Insider info, secrets, confessions, and guilty pleasures. You write it. We publish it. Submit here. Follow Anonymous on Facebook or read more articles from Anonymous on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related