What’s Mine Is NOT Yours

Young woman with curly hair staring at camera
Alesia Kazantceva

To the guy who told me I would “regret it” if I didn’t sleep with him. To the friend who tried to shove his tongue down my throat when we hugged goodbye. To the guys who purposely slow down when driving to unashamedly stare and make dirty comments. To the guy in his late-thirties who tried to make a move on me while we were having an intellectual conversation on a secluded island beach.

To the guy who tried to kiss me when I went skinny dipping on holiday To the guy who tried to fool around with me under the coconut trees (dude, you have a girlfriend). To the guy who enjoyed his therapy session “a bit too much” and would not leave. To the colleague who tried to get with me after his girlfriend broke up with him. To the guy who ghosted me because I didn’t “play the game.”

To the guys out there just like them: I am more than just my body.

Just because my friend and your friend are sleeping together, it doesn’t mean I want to hook up with you (and no, I don’t regret not sleeping with you). Just because we lived together and hugged when you moved out, it doesn’t mean I want to hook up with you. Just because I feel like wearing my shorts and hoodie in the middle of winter, it doesn’t mean you can objectify my body.

Just because I am genuinely interested in who you are as a person, it doesn’t mean I want to hook up with you.

Just because I like to go skinny dipping and climb coconut trees while on holiday, it doesn’t mean I want to hook up with you. Just because I am good at my job and am too polite and professional to kick you out, it doesn’t mean I want to hook up with you. Just because we are friends and both living the single life, it doesn’t mean I want to hook up with you (I already said “NO” a long time ago).

Just because we had wild chemistry on the plane, it doesn’t mean I will send you nudes. Just because I am on an island holiday by myself, it doesn’t mean I want to hook up with you. Just because I love my body and do things for me, it doesn’t mean you can too.

Just because you like to think with your dick, it doesn’t mean I want you. I am more than just my body. My body is not for objectification or your instant gratification. Please respect that of me and every human being out there. We are more than just our bodies. Please respect that. TC mark

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