Thought Catalog

An Open Letter To My First Love

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Sirus Azadi

To my first ever love,

The day I met you had now become the most wonderful day of my entire existence. No, I wasn’t able to feel any butterflies in my stomach or the time slowing and it probably were an ordinary day. But, I thank God for that moment where we shook each other’s hands and started having a good conversation.

From that time, we continued talking and discussing things that were beyond our imaginations. We shared our own thoughts, dreams and aspirations and often, we never knew where we were going.

I never expected that we would grow having feelings for one another but I think that was okay. Perhaps, it was more than okay; it was great!

For years, I was so afraid of falling in love or maybe just the thought of falling alone. And love? I thought of it as an uncertain thing wherein I was forbidden to wander. I feared the idea of that uncertainty for the facts that I used to read about love was limited and it scared me. It scared me to get into something I wasn’t sure of; it scared me to dive into that ocean where I didn’t know what’s below and; maybe what scared me the most was that I didn’t know when was the right time.

But, I began learning.

I started letting go of those inhibitions and letting myself be optimistic about where love would take me – where you would take me.

You have shown me that love is not wrong; it never was. Love probably is a complicated thing but you assured me that it will be the answer to those complications. And I think that’s beautiful; you are beautiful. And your love is.

Now I tell you, I haven’t encountered this kind of feeling but I hope you won’t take advantage of this fragile emotion. I am sorry if I may not be the perfect girlfriend you once dreamt of but I can and will love you more than you can think of.

Trust me when I say, you’re the one.

And if things will not work out in the end, I may not have the chance to tell you this then but know that you have been one of the amazing persons I know and I thank you for that

Still… I won’t lose hope that we can and would walk on this lifetime journey together. TC mark

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