Do they know how many times have you sacrificed your time for the sake of listening to them pouring their heart out? Do they know you as much as you know them? Do they know your friends as you know theirs? Did they ever find hidden pieces of yourself as you found theirs? Do they know that you’re depressed by their “hey” as you do? Do they know your favorite color? Do they know when you last fought with your parents? Do they know if you like horror movies or romantic comedies?
Do they know about the million tears hiding behind the million that have fallen? Do they know about the test you failed? Do they know about the friend you lost? Do they know about the passion that you long said goodbye to? Do they know about your failure? Do they know about the time you walked among people in the streets tearing because of them?
No, they don’t.
How many times have they abandoned you and only came back when life was beating them down? Have there even been times when they were present when they were happy? How many people have they favored over you?
Do you know their mother’s name? Do you know their passion? Do you know their closest friends? Do you know about the person that broke their heart? Do you know how much it scarred them? Do you know how much it took them to heal? Do you know that they didn’t heal?
Do you know their fears? Do you know their favorite animal? Do you know what songs they love? Do you know about the friends they lost? Do you know what cheers them up? Do you know their guilty pleasures? Do you try to make it better for them? Do you send a wish for their wellbeing upon every shooting star?
Yes, you do.
How many times have you excused yourself for the work you have to do? How many times have you excused yourself to sleep? How many times have you forgotten to make sure everything they were stressing about went well? How many times have you turned them down when they came to talk? How many times have you let then down because they once did and you can’t take it anymore?
And it’s nothing wrong with you, don’t loathe yourself for it. You’re not made for everyone and you’re not any less of a person. You were their security blanket that was always there. You were a safe haven when they felt the world was against them. You were always there to turn to, you were guaranteed, and the human is always up for an adventure. The adventure you never were.