1. You are worth the paranoia.
I can still remember our last night together. We were sitting on the stairs outside your college dorm and waiting with me for a taxi. In my mind, the paranoia surfaced. I was paranoid about that the relationship we just made which involved opening doors for you and holding your hand on the street would be subjected to late night to early morning phone calls and long text messages. I got inside the taxi. It made me realize that as every minute passed, our distance grew farther and farther all to the point where the plane ride made me reach home. And then it hit me.
2. You are worth more than the several miles between us.
I realized that I’d rather be miles apart from someone who makes me feel everything than be inches close to someone who makes me feel nothing. Thank you for making this work. Thank you for all the three hour long phone calls, thank you for every video you ever tagged me in, and most of all thank you for every time you found time to talk to me despite being busy with schoolwork. You constantly remind me about how much effort you’re making in this this relationship function and you make me believe that this is worth it.
3. You are worth the sadness.
Sadness that your presence isn’t something I have. Sadness that the only thing I’m laying next to is my phone on top of my pillow. And sadness that hurts most of all— sadness that I can’t be there to wipe away your tears each time you miss me so badly. But the thing is, I make the most of all of this sadness. At least I know you’re sleeping well 170 miles next to me I face the left side of my bed and hear your breathing over the phone. At least I know my words comfort you when I hear you crying about the distance over the phone. And at least I know that the love you give me is more than enough to compensate for the distance.
4. You are worth everything.
You are worth everything because you are my everything. You are the good morning text that starts my day and the good night text that makes me smile in my sleep at night. You are the comforting phone call that soothes me every time my thoughts are a mess. You are the music that I listen to when my day is on mute. You were my almost lover then and to my surprise, the love of my life now. And finally, you are the special type of love that I was missing on any of the ones before and from the bottom of this heart that gave love and didn’t get enough of it returned, you are the one that came to me by surprise and sent so much more of it 170 miles away.
Here’s to more times of me exerting effort trying to return the love you send me. To more times of finding opportunities to finally meet. To more times of hoping our plans for the future work out. To more times of contemplating the relationship and realizing that what you made me feel is more real than it is virtual. And to more times of being the happiest guy in the world knowing that you, still taking me completely by surprise, came into my life and gave me so much love.