Bear with her, even when she pushes you away. She wants more than anything to pour her heart out to you, but she’s afraid of letting you in. Afraid of letting you see her insecurities. Afraid that you’ll realize that the strong and independent girl you fell for only exists when people are watching. Behind closed doors, she deals with her insecurities alone, cries at night thinking about how she’s not good enough for everything – her family, friends, and you.
She knows that there will always be girls prettier than her, and thinks about how you probably prefer them to her. Voices tell her that sooner or later you’ll find someone prettier than her, funnier than her, and more fun to be with.
That’s when she’ll shut you out, because she would rather you leave right now when she’s just starting to fall for you, than have you leave when she’s made you her home.
Tell her she’s pretty, tell her she’s perfect, shower her with compliments and let her know that all you want is her, nothing more. She doesn’t need gifts; all she needs is encouragement. She will never ask for compliments, but when you give her one, she will remember it forever and hold onto it when she’s at her worst.
To be honest, she’s doing better now, with you in her life. And she’s slowly trying to let you in, but at times she’ll push you away, because she’s afraid that you’ll find out she’s falling for you really fast. She’s afraid that if she falls too fast, she’ll end up being the only one falling. So, she starts building walls between the two of you. But when you’re still there, even when the wall’s halfway done, she’ll realize that you’re here for the long run, and slowly, the walls will crumble down.
It’s complicated. She doesn’t expect you to understand, but she hopes you’ll stay. She feels that you deserve better. When she finally lets you in, it will be worth it. You will see how amazing she is, the part of her that’s hidden from everyone else, she only shares with you, and people who are close to her. You’ll see how perfect she is, she’s still growing and trying to change the world despite her insecurities telling her she can’t. You’ll see how she conquers each obstacle like it’s no big deal even when she’s struggling inside, how she gets through each day with a smile despite feeling so broken inside, and at the end of the day, she knows she can get through this because of you. Bear with her, for all she wants is to let you in right now, and she’s trying really hard.