I know the last time we met, I dropped a huge mess of emotions on you.
I know I was being an immature and self-absorbed douche.
But if I could go back and change things, here’s how I would do it:
1. Give You A Hug.
Instead of pushing you away to the other side of the wall and having to see a confused look on your face, I would give you the warmest hug I’ve ever given someone. The type that shows you that no matter how long its been since, or how long it’ll be until the next time, that I would always be there for you.
Instead of awkwardly giving you one of those pass by stranger danger hugs, I would give you a dramatic, a bit excessively long one. The type that shows you that I pains me to let you leave for the last time.
2. Take That Damn Train.
Instead of letting you take that train home alone, I would hop on and spend our last seconds talking about silly things. Such as what your dreams are, what your favorite foods are, what your favorite movie is, what kind of music you’ve been listening to, and perhaps a sprinkle of controversial topics.
Instead of letting you get off the train and walk home alone, I would get off and walk with you. I would make stupid excuses to make sure it takes us a lot longer to get to your house than it should ever take. I would look into your eyes and tell you that you are the most beautiful person in the world, and when the time comes when you finally let someone in, that person would be the luckiest man in the world. Because you’re a Goddamn unicorn.
3. Stop Being a Self-Absorbed Ass And Listen.
Instead of being too caught up in trying to express myself, I would listen. I would listen to the silence that spills out of your mouth because you’re lost of words. I would see. I would see the expressions that you can’t hide on your face because of my bombardment of words that are hitting you like bullets.
Instead of telling you only reasons of why I’m leaving, I would tell you how dazzling and intriguing you really are. And that it’s misfortunate that I can no longer watch how much more beautiful of a person you become.
I know our last meeting was a bit of a mess. I hope that I in your life is nothing more than a passing stranger. I hope that what I said and did that day doesn’t effect you at all because they carry no weight in your life. Because you may be the only person that I wouldn’t want to hurt.
And if I did, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.