I had been broken up with my boyfriend for about 2 weeks when I started to feel some breast soreness. I was familiar with the signs of early pregnancy because of my line of work. I help women, who have been struggling their entire reproductive lives to have a baby.
After I saw the immediate “second line” on my home pregnancy test, I sat on my bathroom floor. I was alone, single, recently dumped and pregnant. This is every girl’s worst nightmare. I had told myself that, if this were to happen to me, and If I had a steady income, I would have the baby. Either way, I made the horrible mistake to think that the man who did this to me had a right to know.
His immediate reaction was denial. He told me that I was lying. He told me that I was doing this to rope him back into being with me. He told me that I would be crazy to have a baby because I am not “stable”. He abused me with his words. And me, hormonal and emotional and vulnerable, believed that he had the right to make this type of decision, or say these types of things to me. I believed that I was the stupid, irresponsible, low-life that he was indirectly saying I was. My favorite verbatim quote that he said was “what kind of sexually active girl in her mid 20’s doesn’t go on birth control”. Because it was solely MY decision not to use a condom. Because — well it is my body and I must’ve made the decision to get pregnant.
This is why this is SO important. This is why we need to stand up for planned parenthood. This is why we need to stand up to President Trump. Although my ex was “liberal” and did not identify as a trump supporter, he epitomized Mr. Trump while he stood there berating me and taking away my rights to make a choice about my body.
As I lay down on the stretcher preparing to undergo a surgical abortion, I thought about this man who I allowed to make me feel so small. And how many other men are out there with this exact mindset, exhibiting this type of behavior and negativity towards women. With that being said, I went through with the an abortion. My wonderful, smart, supportive, activist mother was there to support me. But he wasn’t there to check up on me or ask me how I was doing. My decision, in the end, was based mostly on the fact that I did not want this child to have him as a father. We need more fathers who actually like women (I know — quite a concept)
We cannot allow this behavior towards women to continue. These are our bodies and we own them. We have the right to make decisions about them, especially if they will affect the rest of our lives, and the lives of our potential offspring. This is no longer acceptable for men to dictate what happens to our bodies and we can make a difference.