Sometimes You Won’t Get Closure, And That’s Okay


Our lives are like books, novels with distinct characters and settings that inevitably enter and exit as we progress through different phases of life. If our lives are the books, then each phase is a chapter. Unfortunately, some chapters end too soon— not by your choice, but perhaps because of an uncontrollable circumstance, or simply because the characters in our book have minds of their own.

Sometimes the chapters finish when you least expect it.

There isn’t a closing paragraph or reflective remarks from the narrator. The chapter just ends abruptly in the middle of the sentence, and you, as the main character, are lost.

We have an intrinsic and unexplainable need for closure. It’s unsettling for something we value to just end, for it to just be over, no last words or goodbyes. It isn’t fair how someone could just walk out of our lives without a legitimate reason, or how even after something is over we still feel like there’s so much left to say.

You tell yourself the reason you’re unable to get over him is because you never got “closure.” Innumerable thoughts flood your mind and continuously fester inside of you as the days pass; it feels like a weight sits atop your chest and nags at you every morning you wake and each night as your head hits the pillow. You tell yourself that once you get closure, you’ll be liberated. You’ll finally be able to live again.

But sometimes, you won’t get that closure.

As unfathomable as it sounds, you’ll encounter people who will leave you in the dark and then have the luxury to move on with zero trace of remorse. You may never get the opportunity to give that person a piece of your mind or to even understand their real motives of why they did what they did. But you have to be okay with that.

Moving on is hard, especially when you’re not even entirely sure what went wrong. But people will always come and go. Come to terms with the fact that some will go in a kinder, more respectful fashion than others. However, the protagonist of the novel will always be you.

If someone willfully chooses to remove themselves, it’s them who’s missing out on the thrilling story that is your life.

Accept that some chapters end more rocky than others and some characters were meant to be more permanent than others. It’s you who has the power to move on and turn the page for good. All the closure you need is inside yourself. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog