I feel like I am my best, I feel stable after so long and I feel content in the acceptance of everything around me. I am the best because you made me the best. This relationship has given me everything that I have longed for all my years, I have grown as a person and more than that you taught me to love myself.
I did my bit with all the power in my veins but sadly a part of my efforts went in vain for I lacked a pinch of maturity that was needed to see what you were going through. I failed to hear your silent call and I know that is why you left. You grew out of the relationship but not the person. I know why you stayed after every night we fought, everything that broke you into pieces.
I realized it too late but I did that it was you who needed me more, all along, all the way. I felt you were the stronger one who was better off without me, the one who’ll be less doomed with our demise. But the day I decided to walk out, I looked back and saw a beautiful mess that you were but always claimed not to be. I never chose to walk out, I never wanted to, I was compelled for you made me feel that you are better without me. You made me feel that I am not needed, is why I chose to leave.
I have seen you with others, all happy and chirpy. You have stopped being that way around me, you be your worse with shades that only pierce my soul. For what it’s worth I know that you don’t know what you want out of me. I know you are afraid and confused, it shivers your spine, the truth that you can’t let me go. I know is why you inflict so much pain on me. A fine mix of fear and guilt mixed with a bowl of unconditional love, not a good recipe but it’s everything you feel when I am around.
I have loved you and I have touched you and there is nothing more than that I want from life. Our love is beyond the institution we abandoned. My eyes are open and now I know the kind of mess you are. A beautiful mess that does not know what to do with a heart full of love. You are my mess. I have always stayed back for I loved you and I wanted you but this time I am staying for you, just for you. To help you grow and see you become what you aspire to be.
But it’s too hard. Handling your indecisive shadow and impulsive aura is the most painful thing. Walking out is the most convenient thing for me, I wouldn’t bat an eye if I quit. But I shall stay, I choose to stay for I wish to help you be the best of you.
And at the end of the day, if you find comfort and love and blind leaning support in somebody else. I shall then walk out with the assurance that you are happy. And if we are meant to be together, I will be patient and calm till the day you figure out what you want from me, gather enough strength and courage and come to me, look into my eyes and say it again, ‘I love you. You are my moon and I am your sky.’