To My Ex Best Friend, Regarding Our ‘Break Up’

Maisie Furneaux
Maisie Furneaux

To my ex best friend:

I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. It’s been years and I still have no idea what I possibly could’ve done to you to make you leave. You’re the hardest breakup I ever had. You weren’t just my friend, you were family. Your house became my second home, your family became my relatives, your accomplishments became my accomplishments, your hardships became my hardships. We were a team. And then one day everything became nothing. The texts diminished, the phone calls decreased, the friendship died. I tried to revive it, texting long messages, sending paragraphs of emails, calling you dozens of times and leaving lengthy voicemails. All of which were unrequited.

I have always struggled in the friends department. No matter how much I tried, I continually became friends with the wrong people, until I met you. We were basically the same person. From our interests in clothes, to food, to boys, we were truly each other’s other half.

I tried my best to be a best friend to you. After all, I had always wanted a best friend. You know, a friend that was more than a friend, a friend that became your sister. The one that you can call at 2 am because you just had an awful first date or the friend you send screenshots because the boy you like just confessed he likes you back. A friend where you never had to feel like you had to hide any part of you that made you wholly you. A friendship where jealousy didn’t exist, and trust thrived.

I like to think I had that once with you, but not anymore.

The strangest thing about writing this letter is that I never imagined I’d have to write it to you; maybe other friends, but not you. We had made plans together like going on vacation, celebrating our 21st birthdays, being one another’s bridesmaids.

And in a blink of an eye, all of that and so much more became obsolete.

I wish I could honestly say I hope you’re doing well, but I can’t. When you ended our friendship, you took a part of me that I’ve been struggling to get back ever since. I don’t wish bad on you though, because you must’ve found reason to not want to friends anymore, even though I don’t know what that reason is. Maybe one day I’ll get the answer or even better I won’t have the urge to know.

Until then, stay the same. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog