I Should Be Over You, But It’s Not That Simple

Billy Lam
Billy Lam

Love is a fickle little thing.

Mostly everyone hopes for it, mostly everyone wants it and looks for it, but once love is there in front of them why is it that some people don’t know how to take care of it?

There are reasons there’s so many self-help books about love— how to tell if someone loves you or the ever so popular love languages. It’s true that people show love in different manners… some through physical touch or some through their simple presence of being there. As for me, I showed mine through the act of giving. I always thought that if I gave the one I love everything his heart desired or even dreamed of then he’d see and realize how much I truly cared for him. I thought he’d see that by giving him things he’d know that my heart was his and only his because I wouldn’t do this kind of thing just for anyone.

Love could be so blind sometimes, it’s easy to get so wrapped in the drama and fantasy of it all that we let the simple things pass by. Love could make someone feel whole yet at the same time it could make one feel empty with the mere absence of it. Love could break you but at the same time it has the power to heal.

So why is it that some search their whole lives for it?
Possibly because love could clear up the darkness that was once there, fill the cracks that were once broken, and simply make you feel alive.

I once had a love that both made me feel scared but at the same time brought so much joy in my life. Each touch, each kiss brought jolts of joy in to my life. Every time we spoke of our future, our kids, where’d we live it gave me hope that maybe our love would be one of the lucky ones that would last.

It’s been months and I know I should be over you but it’s not that simple.

I feel that when you love someone that sometimes time and distance don’t change a thing, that patience will be your greatest feat.

Until…. Until it’s not.

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart? A yearning heart?

Unrequited love is heartbreaking, but to know that I was able to find love with him in a world that is full of wrong is a blessing.

So as fleeting as it was I’ll send my love to you one last time in hopes that in turn it’ll somehow heal my heart.

Happy, what would have been anniversary to us. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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