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Cataloged in Flirting

He Doesn’t Think You’re ‘One Of The Guys’ — You Just Suck At Flirting

Preferring beer over wine doesn’t make you one of the guys. Watching baseball over the Kardashians does not make you a bro. Driving a truck rather than a VW Jetta does not make you chill.

As someone who is guilty of blaming “growing up with all dudes” as the reason I don’t know how to be girly, let me tell ya something…you don’t suck at flirting because all guys just see you as one of the guys. You suck at flirting because you assume you’re just always seen as one of the guys. Or maybe that’s just your defense mechanism to make yourself feel better about not getting dates. (Too harsh?) News flash, babe, you’re not a guy.

Therefore, no guy is looking at your boobs and ass thinking wow this chick is going to be my bro 5eva.

I’m not saying all your guy friends are thinking about having sex with you, but I’m also not saying they haven’t thought about having sex with you…

Stop blaming your endless positions in the friend zone and lack of dates on guys just always seeing you as one of the guys.

Boo, you just suck at flirting and honesty, you probably suck at realizing when a guy is flirting in the first place.

You assume every guy is placing you in this category because you have all these guy friends and none of them have tried screwing you yet. Yea, that’s because you show no interest or reciprocation in flirting back so they put themselves in your friend zone.

WHOA. MIND BLOWN.

As a female who drives a truck, watches every 30 for 30 sports documentary on Netflix, gets MLB final scores sent straight to her phone, drinks Shocktop over white wine, and wears more large t-shirts than crop tops, I have no problem still being seen as a girl. If I have all these “dude traits” and I’m still not “one of the guys,” than I think you’re okay.

As far much easier as it would be to use all those traits as a reason I don’t have a boyfriend…it means nothing. It just means I have more to relate to with guys, but none of those things have ever held me back from getting with a guy. No dude has ever rejected me because I remind him of his brother. No dude is friend zoning you because you can talk sports and shotgun a beer. You’re friend zoning yourself because, well, you can talk sports with this guy and you’re at a party shot gunning a beer…

So if you think you can’t get a date because every guy you meet at a party or bar is just immediately clocking you as “one of the guys,” then maybe your jeans are making that weird penis bump or something. Because, honey, that’s just a fucking excuse you use rather than just admitting you suck at flirting. Please stop blaming it on you just being see as one of the guys.

He Doesn’t Think You’re ‘One Of The Guys’ — You Just Suck At Flirting is cataloged in , , , , , ,
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