Lately everywhere I turn I hear girls complaining about the latest “fuckboy” in their life. Girls define this term as a guy who sleeps around and talks to multiple girls at once. To be totally honest, the word fuckboy makes me want to bang my head against a wall. Not only is it stupid, but when you reread the definition of the word but substitute the gender to a girl, the word used would typically be “slut.”
The reality of it is that you can’t be anti slut-shaming if you flagrantly describe men as fuckboys.
The word fuckboy completely invalidates the idea that guys have feelings and have the capacity to want more than sex.
Truth is, all of the so-called fuck boys I’ve encountered don’t know what they want. They’re just as confused as the rest of us. And if they’re not, maybe they just got out of a long-term relationship. Or maybe they’re engaging in casual sex because they’re not ready for a serious commitment, and just want to play the field. Either way, it’s their prerogative and doesn’t make them bad people.
At the end of the day, the issue lies in miscommunication. When a guy has sex with a girl, he usually thinks she’s on the same page as him—it’s just for fun. And if it seems like he’s leading her on, he probably doesn’t realize the way his behavior reads. Most guys are genuinely ignorant that their “playful banter” could be misconstrued as more than what it is.
I admit it— there are some guys who deliberately tell a girl whatever they think she wants to hear to get into her pants. And that’s pretty shitty of them. But what I’ve also noticed from this is that girls even when girls recognize this is the case, they still try to “play the game” and try to “be the one to change him” by getting him to commit to them. It’s equally as entertaining for the girl as it is for the guy. Sure, maybe you’ll win, but if you fail, whose fault is it other than your own? You knew what you were getting into when you began talking to him.
You knew he didn’t want anything serious.
You could’ve just walked away when you initially realized your intentions didn’t line up with his.
Girls also think the word fuck boy is acceptable because guys take pride in how good their game is. That may be true, but if you reverse the roles, a girl who who pulls a lot of guys is called a slut, which is insulting. You can’t argue that women and men should be treated equally if you don’t agree that what’s wrong for one gender is okay for the other. Both words are derogatory and unfair labels. If you don’t respect someone’s behaviors, just don’t interact with them. It’s really that simple.
She’s not a slut. And he’s not a fuck boy. We’re all just people.