5 Reasons You Should Take LSD This Weekend Instead Of Having Sex

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Giphy

1. Because It’s Awesome And Hilarious And Everything’s Going To Be Fucking Weird And HOLY SHIT!!!

LSD is so awesome, and there’s a reason scientists are fascinated by how your brain looks when the high kicks in. When you drink a cocktail or a glass of wine you can feel the effects within minutes, but with LSD you have no clue when you’re going to come up. Could be 30 minutes, could be an hour. Guess that’s with any drug though. When you do come up it isn’t sudden…more like…your high “you” and your sober “you” meld into one total being and things start getting weird but you don’t understand why.

Then every single thing is hilarious. Laughing begets even more laughing. Ah, the LSD! You were having a conversation with your friend about RuPaul’s Drag Race or whatever when suddenly wow the floor is so fascinating. Do you see how cool the floor looks? Wait, is someone baking cookies? Do you smell those fucking cookies! LSD opens up your senses, and it’s not so much that you see things that aren’t there (though that’s possible!) and more that you see things as they are but differently. And that’s cool.

2. It’ll give you a clear perspective on whatever shit you’re struggling with in your life right now

Do not take LSD if you’re depressed or going through a very bad time, because then you might be asking for a bad trip and that means 12 hours of absolute hell. Seriously: DON’T DO IT. But if you’re of sound mind and cool and chill then you’ll find that whatever issues you’re dealing with — a bad break up, wanting to get out of a relationship, worried about which place you should go next, really anything that’s worrying you — will resolve itself. Part of the LSD experience is the come up, where you start to sense that things are definitely different but you don’t know how. The other side is the more philosophical part, towards the end of the peak, when you enter an introspective, philosophical space. You and the friend you got high with stop talking to each other. You stop laughing and sit on different sides of the room. You’re in your own heads. And then your mind runs. You think about every single thing you’re going through and somehow it all makes sense.

3. You will see things differently — when you’re high and even when you’re not

Probably the coolest thing about taking LSD is that you can listen to all your favourite music or whatever and when you hear it again sober it’ll put a smile on your face and you’ll remember what it was like to hear it high. That or you’ll tell people who’ve never been high that that painting or pattern or flower or whatever would look SO COOL on LSD. After you’ve been high you can tell what things will be trippy even when you’re sober, and it somehow gives you a nostalgic feeling for the experience.

4. Because, for 12 hours, you just don’t give any fucks

Full disclosure: I got high with my ex-boyfriend once and I suspected that he wanted to break up with me. Before we got high together I was begging for affection and I wanted him to want me but after I ate the tabs I kept thinking about whether or not he wanted to be with me and I was all, you know what? If he doesn’t want me then whatever. I don’t actually want his ass, either. Take that. It’s not the end of the world. The difference is that before we ate the tabs together I was so paranoid that he would dump me and that I would be alone. After the tabs I didn’t give a shit whether he dumped me or not, and that told me exactly what I needed to know about the state of our relationship. On LSD the bullshit of everyday life seems so trivial. No fucks given.

5. There’s no comedown

The best part of LSD is that there’s no terrible comedown. I mean sure, the high lasts 6-12 hours — which sounds TERRIFYING — and you have NO IDEA when you’re going to come down — again, TERRIFYING — meaning you basically need like one to two days if you’re going to take LSD. The good news is that when you do finally come down there’s no depression or anxiety or sadness. In fact, I always feel so happy after. Elated, with a smile on my face, like someone just fucked me really nicely. When I’m high I have almost no thoughts at all, even though I’m definitely thinking about things if that makes any sense. TC mark

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