Ladies: We Deserve More Than A F*ckboy

October:
“He won’t date me because ‘I’m too good for him?’ That’s bullshit.”
“He said he’s a Rubik’s cube and that I’ll never solve him.”

November:
“I like him so why won’t he make this official?”
“I mean, he’s right.
I am too good for him.”

December:
“He sucks so much.”
“I called it off.”

January:
“I’m being dumb and hanging out with him later.”
“He’s taking me on a real date. FINALLY!”
“LOL he’s moving in a few weeks.”

Ah, yes, the vicious cycle continues. Let’s take a moment to discuss everyone’s favorite fella: the f*ckboy. Time and time again, we fall subject to the infamous charm of a, for lack of a better word, f*ckboy. We convince ourselves that this one will be different. This guy has potential. He could be the real deal. If we keep casually hanging out and hooking up with them, they’re going to fall in love with us, right?

Wrong. We can be as hopeful as we want, but the odds seem to inevitably be stacked against us. What happened to courtship? To romance? To real gentlemen? Are we not worthy of anything more than a hook up? We deserve more than that. We deserve the real thing: dates, flowers, chocolate, or whatever we choose to call romantic. Who decided that romance should take a step back in today’s society, only to let hook ups dominate the dating scene? There shouldn’t be room for a Facebook group called “F*ckboys 101” where we post screenshots of our Tinder conversations with these boys. These boys are the ones who go to great lengths to get in our pants, the ones who sneak out while our pants are still lying on the ground the next morning, if he even manages to stay that long.

Let’s get one thing straight: there is absolutely nothing wrong with casual relationships. People are capable of making their own decisions. If we want to have casual, no feelings, physical relations with another human being, then we will, gosh darn it! There is, however, no obligation to do so if we do not want to. We don’t have to answer the carnal call of the f*ckboy. So why do we? And why do we go back?

“I was with him for what could be, instead of what it is at the moment”
“Attention is nice for an hour or so without commitment.”
“I’m in it for the chase.”
“I have needs.”
“He’s hot, mysterious, and I’m lonely.”
“Curiosity – the what if’s keep me holding on.”
“It’s hard to accept that a year of my efforts were spent on nothing.”
“I feel like there is this deeper layer to him. I’ve almost cracked it.”
“I’ve always wanted to learn how to solve a Rubik’s cube.”

What ever happened to going steady? Why are we so afraid to take things slow? In what world is “why not?” the appropriate response when we say we aren’t going to hook up with someone? When did the late night text or phone call become an appropriate, and very often form, of contact? When did we enter into the era where denying someone physical intimacy set the grounds to be endlessly ridiculed? Where did romance go? Where did respect go?
Wherever romantic and intimacy lie, we hope to find them in the future. For now, we need to find ways to fill the voids instead of giving in to our vulnerability. Let’s all say f*ck off to the f*ckboys. It’s time we move on to better things.

And, f*ckboys, if you’re reading, we’ve got some parting words for you:

“I shouldn’t have thought you would change.”
“I wish your d*ck was as big as your ego.”
“Don’t hook up with another girl in front of me to ‘keep me in check.’”
“We’re over. I’m better than this.”
“Stop being idiots.”
“You’re 18. I’m not going to have sex with you. Especially not in your garage.”
“Go fuck a cactus.”
“I deserve some respect. Imagine what your mother would say if she knew what you’ve said and done to me.”
“I was serious about the cactus.”
“I don’t need you, I don’t want you, and you missed out.”
“Rubik’s cubes aren’t unsolvable.”