I went to a party and saw you across the room shooting pool. I went to the party to make sure my friend got home okay; I never intended to do anything more than talk to anyone. Then you came over and it all changed. You were the guy that all the girls were talking about but then you chose to come over to me. We talked for hours before we started making out. I thought you seemed like a nice, genuine guy; every girl knows that is rare to find in a frat. However, now you proved me wrong.
We proceeded to sleep together that same night and I got to admit, it was the best sex of my life. After we walked out of the room, you didn’t abandon me for your frat brothers. You stayed by my side until I left and showered me with affection. As I left, you gave me your number and kissed me at the door. That was my first mistake, to take the number of a should’ve been a one-night stand.
After two days later of texting non stop, you asked me over. Again, it was the best sex of my life. I showed up to your party the same night. That is when I learned who you really were. You were with another girl and I tried to get your attention. Another guy told me that you were here with your girlfriend.
I couldn’t believe I slept with a guy with a girlfriend; it is against all my morals. I tried to make you jealous by flirting with other guys and then left because I didn’t have your attention. As I left, you saw me and waved. Your girlfriend looked like she wanted to kill me and you both.
I didn’t hear from you for weeks. I assumed it was over whatever was developing between us. I knew it was for the better because I fell for you. Then, I heard from you out of the blue. You told me that when we slept together, you were on break with your girlfriend. You told me the second time we slept together, you cheated on your girlfriend with me. I tried to tell you how wrong that was and that you could be a much better guy if you didn’t cheat.
However, after hours on the phone talking about this you convinced me to come over the next day. You said your girlfriend wouldn’t care if she found out whether it was once or multiple times. Against my better judgment, I agreed. I guess that doesn’t make me any better of a person then you. I helped you facilitate the cheating by sleeping with you. But still, I couldn’t let you go because you were the best sex in my life. Each time, the sex gets better and better. This was another mistake I made because each time, I was falling with you more and more.
That summer I only saw you once and again you had your girlfriend. That didn’t stop us from sleeping together again. I kept telling myself that you would break up with your girlfriend and come to me. Despite me knowing that, given the opportunity, I would never date you because what would stop you from cheating on me.
Now it’s a year later and we still are seeing each other. I still know it’s a wrong to sleep together and know that I’m dreaming when I believe you would leave her for me. You told me that I can have you Monday through Friday while your girlfriend has you on the weekends. I have made the decision to finally tell you know. It might be the best sex I ever had but that is it. It feels too much like a relationship when I see you.
It will never be a relationship.
I can’t let myself be with you anymore; I don’t put myself out there anymore because I know I always have you waiting for me. That is going to change, I’m going to break away and live my life. My life is no longer going to involve you. I’m breaking free.