1. You begin making excuses for something that you’d usually never overlook: He/She only smokes at night, it’s not an addiction I can handle it. Meanwhile you find the habit gross but you make every excuse in the book that it’s an oversight that you can live with. Reality is however that it’s not and you making excuses only means that more excuses are going to occur in other situations. Slippery slope type of stuff we’re dealing with.
2. They make you so happy that when you know you know but there’s those times where you don’t and it sucks: Ever have that feeling that your partner is so into you then they pull back? It’s a game that you can’ win and trying to win that game will never happen. So why put yourself out there to never know if the person is coming or going. Instead, think about what you need and the roller coaster of signals that your partner is giving to you isn’t cool. Unbuckle your seat and don’t ride it.
3. They’re not the person of your dreams: They say that there is no such thing as one soul mate and maybe there is someone out there who you haven’t met that is perfect for you. Reality of it is that you’re not going to go on an everlasting search as this is not feasible. What is feasible however is finding someone who you can see yourself with both in reality that may happen to show up in your dreams too. Be a dreamer and a believer because there are people out there that are perfect for you. Settling for something that is less than a dream isn’t any dream at all.
4. He/She isn’t the one: Ever have those moments where you wonder what if there’s someone else out there that will be better than the current one? The probability could be high but when you know you’ve found the one, I’ve heard through the grapevine that you know. Besides the fact that the current generation is always on an everlasting quest for the newest shiniest thing, we can see that in reality maybe it doesn’t get much better than what you have. If there is that remote doubt in your mind that the person isn’t the one and you’re keeping your options open, please for the love of love, don’t hurt your partner but walking away is the right thing to do.
5. You can’t seem to meet halfway: There are times where you find yourself disagreeing on things which is normal as everyone has differences of opinions. When these differences are too large to meet halfway on, there will never been an even playing field. This relates back to checking in with yourself as an individual. If you love yourself as an individual and are proud of your opinions- you go glen coco. Alternatively, if you can’t find that your opinions matter or that they can’t be accepted you start loosing yourself and the person who you are. Be you because there’s only one of you and the world needs more opinions and thoughts and people smart like you to continue fighting for what matters to you.
As shitty as it is, walking away from a partner might be the right thing to do. Certainly relationships aren’t easy, if they were, most people would probably be in them and there’d be less dating apps. Despite this, settling for non-negotiables isn’t something that you should be doing, lawyers negotiate. Stick by what you want and don’t for anything less than that to happen. You can write your future and your future’s bright. Maybe not with the person you’re settling for but for the person you may meet around the next corner once you take your eyes off this screen.