1. We’re not really that careful with your kids.
From the moment you leave your car to the minute you leave your child in our care, our counsellors will be assuring you that your child will be fine, and that we will move mountains to ensure their safety. And while this is true, we can only keep an eye on so many kids at one time. 16 kids in our group? All we can do is hope all 16 – the same 16 – will be there at dinner every night.
2. We have way more fun than your kids do.
Why else would we volunteer our precious summer days?
3. We’re not able to confirm that your child has had their basic needs met all week, let alone every day. Sorry.
But hey, no one ever needed a root canal after one week of no tooth brushing.
4. We have favorite campers.
Hopefully your child is cute or quirky. Preferably both.
5. We hate it when your child cries due to homesickness or is a little b*tch at night.
Yes, we do feel bad – we’re not sociopaths – but think of it this way: while your kids can doze off during activities in the blistering heat, we run that sh*t. We have to be pumped up like we’re on crack all day long, and we still need energy to hangout amongst ourselves after we assure your kids that, yes, we have killed all the mosquitos in the cabin. We all need sleep, especially counselors.
6. We will lie to you remorselessly when you pick them up.
We will tell you that little Johnny was an angel and he was so enthusiastic all week, when in fact he was the biggest sissy and dragged his feet all day. We will also cry when saying goodbye to your child for no reason other than overtiredness and joy that it is all over, and for how by some miracle all the kids under our supervision survived.
7. We love camp, and we want your kids to love camp.
Sometimes that will mean bending the rules, letting them eat more cake, letting them dig deep in the dirt, or letting them stay up way past curfew. We remember how amazing camp was as kids, so we made it our duty to give your kids the same adventurous, crazy camp experience.
Hope you still send them next year!