Whenever I would hear someone say they wanted to know every detail of a partner’s affair, I would wonder why. I would think, how pathetic. Or on my better days, I’d think, wouldn’t it hurt more to know? I didn’t understand they needed to know so they could stop driving themselves mad thinking about details.
I never understood how jealousy could drive you to levels of obsession you never thought yourself capable of. Not knowing will drive you to search social media to find clues for you to put together. Did she have an account you weren’t following? Did she stop following a guy and get rid of pictures when you started following her? You will listen to her talk on the phone late at night trying to hear every word.
Now I know that those people weren’t pathetic. They also were already hurting and were seeking closure not looking for more pain. They just couldn’t endure for another minute the mind’s need for answers. To know who, when, where, and why. I hope getting the answers to those questions helped them move forward with their lives. I am now like those people I didn’t once understand, waiting for every detail, not knowing how long I can go without them.