I write about healing frequently because I am convinced that healing is a life-long process. As most of us wish: to wake up each morning and find that our scars have been diminished, our wounds have be sewn shut and the pain that takes up too much space in our hearts, has finally dissipated- we know that is clearly impossible and too far from the truth. Healing is finite. It is a choice that we as hurting humans decide to make or not to make. If you choose to make the choice to heal, I am proud of you. If you choose to make the choice to heal four days out of the week, I am still proud of you. If you choose to lie in bed and grieve, I am still so very proud of you.
There is no right or wrong way to heal. To mourn the loss of a loved one, to excessively miss an ex lover, to grieve over the promotion you believed you were going to receive and you so desperately needed for financial reasons or to weep over life’s uncertainties and unfortunate circumstances- however you choose to grieve, let yourself do it. Do not hold back. Set your pride down and put your ego to the side and lean into your feelings. Acknowledge them. Recognize them. With doing so, you are choosing to acknowledge that life is not always in our favor, but we will do anything in our very own strength and power to not let it take over all of the good parts that live inside of us- our lives.
I first want you to know, if you are one who is tangled up in the ropes of this demented and twisted working of life and you are not sure if you will ever be able to unwind yourself from it, I have news for you: you absolutely will. You will because you will choose to. You will find that this world will bring us the most viscous and monstrous misfortunes, but when the Universe brings us contentment, peace, calmness and happiness, you will truly begin to really recognize that you are still healing- but you are not letting yourself be confined by the downhill spirals that come your way.
I believe that we more than often run into such catastrophic circumstances that we feel we will never be able to recover from them. I am here to tell you that there is no guarantee that we can recover entirely from anything. We can heal, move on, and let go, but scars are permanent markings of being a human who has been to war and who has fought in battle. However, we cling onto hope, put faith into the unknown, the unseen and we try to find reasoning for why we have or have not yet recuperated. Either way, recuperated or not, you are alive. That in itself is by far the most optimal fortunes you have ownership of. Especially when you feel as if you do not have anything- remember, you have life.
However, the human condition is too complex, but within the human condition we naturally possess the power to feel. Whether we like what our current state of feeling is or not, you have to do what you need to do in order to restore your mental and emotional wellness again. If it is to take a hot bath and share the your tears with the bath water, or if it is to lie in bed and find tranquility in the space between you and your sheets, or if it is to seek therapy and share the most intimate parts of your being with a stranger- whatever it is, you are choosing to heal.
That choice in itself is the most significant and essential choice of action you will have ever made in your life. And knowing that you have lost continuous battles with the Universe, you show off your battle wounds, you take pride in them. If I can leave you with anything, it is this: you are alive, you have accepted that the healing process is a life-long process but you carry no shame in that acceptance, but only a sense of daily achievement and understanding the what needs to be done to survive being a human.
I am so immensely proud of you. I am healing with you. I am in this with you. You are not alone.