Courtship: The Rise of The Strong Woman and The Sensitive Man

Ok, ladies and gentleman, listen up. It’s time to give a name to a cultural trend that has been on the rise for quite some time now. I call it The Rise Of The Strong Woman And The Sensitive Man. We’ve all seen it and it tends to go something like this:

Boy meets Girl. Or (for our purposes) maybe Girl meets Boy. Boy and Girl like each other. They talk and flirt and maybe even hang out once or twice. The girl plays it cool because she has many social commitments and career prospects and, while she likes the boy, needs more time to discern whether he will be the one to make her commit. The boy is confused that the girl isn’t swooning over him and assumes she isn’t interested. He pulls away. His communication becomes short and infrequent. The girl wonders what happened and is sad for exactly two days. Ultimately, she decides she can pull out her phone and just swipe right on the next prospect.

Sound familiar? It should. Nowadays, men and women are attempting courtship in an era where no one knows what courtship is or if it even still exists. It used to be that a strapping lad met a damsel. He bought her balloons and milkshakes, and she exclaimed, “Oh, golly. You’re swell!” Suddenly they were dating. Well women are no longer damsels whose sole duty is to build up their man. Today, women are empowered and career driven – and with the advent of the internet, we can have our pick from almost anyone we want. Seriously ANYONE. And we know it – making it less urgent for us to invest.

But here’s the catch. We don’t actually want just anyone. In fact, we may have really wanted YOU – but the consequences of these ever- evolving gender norms make a kickass, career-driven woman a little less equipped to also be the emotional bread winner. It’s not that we have hearts of steel, it’s just that we don’t give our hearts to just anyone because we have work deadlines and dreams to pursue and oh my god it’s distracting to really like someone. So the boy negates the balloons and milkshakes because he doesn’t want to risk putting himself out there for a girl who, on the surface, appears to be indisposed.

And this is the error. It may look different nowadays but we do actually want to go there with you and we will if you are patient with us. Maybe we’re not exclaiming, “you’re swell!” and rushing to darn your socks, but, rest assured, if a woman is communicating with you for any consistent period of time, often initiates contact, and has never said, “I just want to be friends,” she probably doesn’t want you to go anywhere…and she definitely doesn’t just want to be friends.

So, men, I know this day and age might leave you more confused and shy than in the past. Rejection sucks and no one wants to feel unwanted or underappreciated. But trust me when I say that today’s strong woman wants a strong man. Don’t clam up. Appreciate her intelligence and strength, and let it propel you to step up and accept the challenge. Be direct. Ask her to dinner. Text her first. Strong women make exceptional companions BECAUSE they don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves – when they make the plunge to be with you, they are loyal and loving to you and only you like no other. And if that wasn’t enough incentive, you will be happy to know that a strong, impassioned woman definitely knows what’s up in the bedroom.

Now this isn’t to say that today’s woman acts perfectly or is without fault. And let’s not discount the desirability of a sensitive man in various situations. But throw us a bone, guys… it’s hard trying to have it all.