First impressions, as we all know, are everything, and when it comes to dating apps like Tinder, you have one photo and one short bio that will either make or break your chances of getting a match. Guys, here’s what not to do:
1. The “Back in my Prime” Photo
This is like setting yourself up for failure. Are you really comfortable knowing that if by chance we decide to meet, that I will immediately conclude that you don’t like the way you look now, which is likely to be ten pounds heavier and probably balding?
2. (Possibly) Someone Else’s Baby
Posting a picture with a baby doesn’t make you a nice guy. It makes you a guy that’s posted a picture with a baby. Whose baby is it? Yours? Your sister’s? A friend’s? Too late, already swiped left.
3. You And Your Hot Friend
I understand that not many guys out there take selfies. Really, I get it. However, anytime I come across a straight ten standing next to a five, chances are, the rest of the pictures are of the five, and my hopes were much too high.
4. You In The Middle Of A Group Of Girls
Conclusion drawn: Either you aren’t going to be attracted to me sexually, or you will for 15 minutes and then never speak to me again. Swipe left.
5. Group Shot
If every photo you take is of you and ten dudes, I’ve swiped left. At this point, I don’t even have to see a picture of you to understand that you’re the ugly friend.
6. Your Dog
I like animals, dogs especially. However, I’m not trying to date your dog. In fact, I’m pretty sure that kind of thing is illegal in, like, all fifty states. Do yourself a favor and post a picture of yourSELF as opposed to your animal.
Listen, we haven’t even met yet. I’m not supposed to know what goes on beneath the fabric of your life. Why jump the gun when we can just exchange a few pathetic text messages back and forth, seeming genuinely interested in how the other’s day is going?