I Chose My Boyfriend Over My Friend And All Hell Broke Loose

Flickr / Mike Kniec
Flickr / Mike Kniec

It’s about 2 PM on a Saturday afternoon, I’m standing in Goodwill, trying to focus on finding some hidden treasures but I can’t. Instead I’m trying to stop the text alerts that keep sounding from my phone; so much that I’m forced to switch it onto silent because I just can’t keep up.

Glancing at my notifications filling up my screen, I see that it’s my closest friend. I rush over to the furniture section, find a floral arm chair and decide to get comfortable. I was honestly expecting to have to do some damage control as she and her boyfriend were on the rocks as of the night before. That wasn’t the case. It was much worse. She was complaining about my boyfriend. Little did I know that World War III was going to come of this small episode of her uncontrollable text vomit.

You maybe asking why my friend believes that she can speak badly of my relationship; what could she possibly say to ruin our friendship? Here’s a quick back story:

I had been on and off with my significant other for 7 years. At the time, we were “ON” for what had been a complete year (without any issues). We had started this year completely new after several of being mostly off. During the start of this year my boyfriend’s best friend had a girlfriend of 3 years. As my boyfriend and I’s relationship began to get more serious, so did the connection between her and I. It was almost inevitable. The guys were always together so we were bound to become close and we did.

Fast forward a year and some change, my boyfriend and I were attending a dinner party on a Saturday night and he received a call from his best friend, letting him know that he needed him because his relationship was ending. We let him know that unfortunately it was already 10 PM and we hadn’t even started dinner, but that if we got out at a reasonable hour we would stop to see him. We left the event at about 1 AM, went straight home and fell asleep. I took the liberty of texting his best friend to let him know that we got out much later than expected and would call him first thing in the morning.

That’s exactly what we did. We called at 9 AM and got no answer at all. After several attempts we gave up. As the week went by with no call back, they worked it out (as they always do) but they apparently had a bigger problem.

Friday night my boyfriend flew out to LA for work so the next day I decided to spend some “me” time and went out to make a round at the local thrift shops. Everything was going okay until my friend admitted to what was really bothering her.

“He’s a shitty friend.”

“He gets all this free stuff for his car and it’s a lease, his best friend owns his car and he should give it to him.”

“He never picks up the phone for his best friend.”

“He’s selfish and arrogant.”

“He treats all his friends like shit.”

“He’s such a show off.”

“He gets everything handed to him.”

The list goes on.

Reading these texts, I was confused. None of it was true. I had been there 80% of the time when his best friend called. He answered. I was there when he received free or discounted stuff for his car and if he couldn’t use it, he offered it to him. He definitely has nothing handed to him, he has an extremely demanding job… two of them to be clear and he deserves every single perk he received from them. After much prying, her only proof was that this is what her boyfriend told her. So I explained to her that a lot of it was untrue.

The next day when my boyfriend returned home I told him that I was at a loss for words and couldn’t stick up for him or put myself in the middle. I showed him the slew of text messages and he said he’d talk to her; after all she was his friend too. So Monday morning, he confronted her via iChat. She was furious and she began bashing me. Once again my phone was practically vibrating off of my desk. She was accusing me of backstabbing her, choosing him over her. I told her that was not the case, she had to confront him and they had to fix their problems. I wasn’t going to allow someone to speak of him without him being able to defend himself, he’s the man I plan to spend the rest of my life with (we are now engaged and getting ready to close on our home together).

She then sent him six emails worth of screen shots showing my boyfriend texts messages that I had sent her. His reply was, “I’ve seen it all, already. You aren’t telling me anything I don’t know.” When she realized he wasn’t going to choose her over me she began to sink even lower. She sent him texts saying, “Seven years of her must be more important than our friendship. I let you live in my apartment when you had no place to go. I cooked for you, I cleaned up after you. I did your laundry! I’ve been there for you since I started dating your best friend and have always been a good friend!” He still wasn’t budging. It was a lost cause for him but her text messages continued but not only to him, also to our other mutual friends all accusing me of being a liar, a back stabber.

This went on for about 4 months and then people began getting tired of the subject constantly being our relationship when they would hang out with her and her boyfriend. People began to ask us, “What really happened?” we shared our side but then when she found out that people were still hanging out with us, she lost it once again. She and her boyfriend began to hurt and lie to those people as well. It ended in a way where they only affected themselves and no one else.

I missed her, still do at times. I cried as if I had my heart broken, I was sad. She was my friend, we were close. We understood each other. Seeing all this unfold simply taught me that even the closest of friends could be a wolf in sheep’s skin. True colors could be shown at any moment from the ones you least expect. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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