Once in your life, you loved, fell hard and got your heart broken beyond mending. You may have given your all and forgotten that you need to leave something for yourself in the process. You may have put yourself out there, took all the risks without thinking what the consequences may be. You may have dreamed about the “happily ever after” and had everything figured out already in your mind. Although there’s one problem, or should I say, tragedy (in the words of Suzanne Harper). You fell in love for the person who would never, ever catch you.
I’ve learned this all the hard way. And I have to say that the pangs of unrequited love suck so deep and leave a permanent scar. It’s ruthless and merciless. It’s painful beyond words.
Here are the 5 lessons that are forever tattooed on my mind (because my heart is too broken already to get tattooed), courtesy of my one-sided affair with a person who lives 9219.8 miles away from me.
1. It is not about you.
Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that while you are too drawn to the person of your affection, he/she just doesn’t feel the same way. Maybe he/she is not just into you. Do not feel sorry for yourself. However tempted you are, do not throw yourself a pity party.
2. It is not about the other person.
The other person for sure appreciates your affection however love is not like math that we can learn at will. It is way more complicated than that. Do not harbor hatred for the person. It is not going to change his/her feelings about you.
3. It cannot be forced.
If they professed to you their inability to love you back, do not ever try to convince the person otherwise. It is dangerous. It is not going to work.
4. It is helpful in unexpected ways.
You come to a realization that while you did not get the love you were longing for, you have people around you whom you don’t have to beg love from. And you have to focus on them instead.
5. It is not the end.
It may feel like it is on the first couple of days or weeks. But you can trust me when I say that you are going to be okay one day then you are going to be better the next day. Healing needs time. Don’t rush it.
So to all lovelorn romantics engaged in a one-sided affair out there, you are not alone. This tragedy can turn into triumph. Be strong and of good courage. You will soon heal and find or be found by the right person.