I don’t get it, it seems to exceed my understanding. Is it really a culmination of my shortcomings, high set standards and emotional unavailability or is it just that my luck is bad? I feel like I know everyone enough to preach, but can’t stay true to my own words.
The truth of the matter: regardless of how much you enjoy the single life and the emotional independency, you always wonder what it’s like to have someone there for you. Someone to care for, someone to care for you back, a support of some sorts, a reliable person to give and take with. Y’know, all the usuals. It’s just that, that’s where my issue is, I truly cannot find someone to play the role, and I’m starting to be very convinced that isn’t the men in my life that seem to turn out horrible, but that I’m the one takes things down south.
Being a really social person, finding more and more people to interact with has never been a problem for me, I see a whole lot of people on the daily and I talk to a whole lot of people on the daily, and it seems to me that recently everyone’s been getting into a relationship. Whether they’re flings or long-term serious relationships, people just seem to find someone they click with, someone that they seem to be able to connect with and understand, someone they deem worthy of for themselves, and someone they’ve decided will share their ups and downs with. Hey, don’t get me wrong, that’s all good and great but it just strikes my curiosity, the multitude of people that I seem to know, from other social butterflies such as myself, to extreme introverts who have the hardest time trusting people – how is it that they’ve managed finding somebody and I’m still here fighting through a hoard of all the wrong guys?
Sure, it isn’t like I’ve never done this before, I’ve gone through my share of boyfriends and I’ve seen through enough flings and first-dates-gone-wrong, but I’ve always managed to find someone for myself, and honestly, I’m not picky at all. I like to think that versatility is the key to everything and that being said, it seemed like I had enough options for days. However, nowadays? I can’t seem to find a fling to save my life, let alone a commitment.
I really do feel like I need it, someone to spill my attention to, someone to spend my time with, someone to love, someone to hold… It’s that just I can’t find anyone that’s remotely appropriate for the role. I really don’t like setting standards, it truly isn’t my thing and all I need to know is that the person in front of me is going to be honest and trust-worthy and everything else just falls into place from there and I really don’t think that’s too much to ask for at all.
So, what is it really? Am I too eager to get into a commitment? Am I picking the wrong people entirely? Is it just my luck? I don’t know. I just really do wish there was some way I could just settle and find someone for myself.