4 Common Steps After A Break Up

Flickr / ♦ Peter & Ute Grahlmann ♦
Flickr / ♦ Peter & Ute Grahlmann ♦

1. Blame Game

You’re probably questioning why it ended the way it did, why he broke his promise about staying together forever. It’s two-in-the-morning and you’re blaming yourself for what had happened, next day you find yourself hating him for all the things he put you through. Step aside from your scenarios and take a look at reality. Whatever the case is whether he continually lied, went behind your back or even cheated on you there’s a reason behind through it. Blaming yourself or your ex isn’t going to fix your broken heart, all you can really do is let it out. Cry, cry, and cry. Whatever it takes to make yourself feel better, do it. (Just don’t do things you’d end up regretting a few months from now.)

2. Temptation And Despair

Whatever you do, do not contact him. I know it’s easier said than done but trust me on this one. Unfriend & unfollow him on every social media, delete his number but don’t delete the pictures with him just yet (on your phone but on IG, FB, etc. delete them). I know you want to call him up and tell him how sorry you are and how much you’ve missed him, even though it’s probably been only 3 days, but continue on to ignore your temptations. The more you go MIA (missing in action, not literally) on social media and on him the more he will most likely reach out to you first. No do not tweet about how sad you are or post anything on Facebook and Instagram of depressing quotes, if anything you should post things that shows how much fun you’re having! Trust me, they always come back once you show how little the break up bothers you.

3. Acceptance

It’s been a few months now, day by day it’s getting better and you’ve probably learned the valuable lesson from your situation. That’s just how the cycle works, we love, we learn and we grow… AND repeat! Besides, from the alone time you’ve had for yourself, you grew to realize that he will always be a part of you, he will always be lingering at the back of your head until something better comes along (trust me, there will always be something better than the last). Once you accepted why it happened, that’s when you’re finally coming out of your misery as the bigger person. You finally understand that you might still want him, but the thing is you don’t need him. Number one rule for women: We don’t ever need a guy to make ourselves feel at best!

4. Rebuild And Repair

You’ve finally made it! See? It wasn’t as bad as you thought! Okay maybe it felt like your heart was shattered to pieces, like literally but that’s totally okay. Because you’re not the only one, we ALL go through it. Now that you have, your heart is at its strongest, your mind is much wiser & you’re a better you. Once he realizes what he’d lost (yes it can take months for BOYS to realize their mistakes depending on how immature and how much pride they think they have) he WILL reach out to you, and by that time you’re smart enough to walk away from him. After a storm comes a rainbow, so don’t ever feel like its okay for someone to have the power to make you feel like shit, ever again. TC mark

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