
1.
“Have you ever really THOUGHT about Totino’s pizza rolls, though?”
2.
“My dad gave me some cash for beer, if you wanted to go grab a drink later. That might be romantic.”
3.
“Sorry I peed in my car earlier. It was the closest bathroom.”
4.
“I know I already ejaculated, but I have a weird question. Would it still make sense for you to give me a blowjob?”
5.
“Let’s consider the real differences between pancakes and waffles.”
6.
“If I was trapped on a desert island with a bunch of whores and then you, I would probably choose you.”
7.
“Did you even know you had boobs like that?”
8.
“Do you remember that time we had sex?”
(Me: “Just now?”)
“Yeah. Yeah, you have a good memory.”
9.
“If we had sex inside of an IHOP, we would be inside of an IHOP right now. Did you EVEN CONSIDER THAT AS A POSSIBILITY?”