Why I Still Support My Best Friend’s Decision To Stay With Her Cheating Boyfriend

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My best friend and roommate since Freshman year of college has been dating this guy since they were 16. C’mon, 16. As someone who can only stay committed to a piece of pizza, I can’t lie and say that I am not impressed. Their relationship has been full of trials and tribulations throughout the years of adolescence, as well as the transition into college and the exchange of V-cards. My best friend has literally poured her heart and soul out for this guy, and I’ve seen it returned, to an extent.

They’re best friends, lovers, and so much more. Think about it – they have endured heartache, death, rainstorms, every current event since 2009, blizzards, and even cheating. Cheating – our keyword here today – is not something any sane and loving person takes lightly. My best friend has had to deal with the consequences of infidelity, a crime against her own self, for a few years now, and let me just say, I hated her boyfriend’s guts. I have called him every name in the book, there are pictures of me flicking him off at a bar, and I have told him to his face that I will never forgive him. I am the most confrontational person in the universe, and I take zero prisoners when it comes to faulting my friends or my own self.

However, I have found the light.

My best friend has experienced a lot of loss over this guy. She’s lost her trust and she’s lost a lot of love and friends. I’ve cried with her and my heart aches for her, because I know that every time he slips up, a little part of her dies inside. That’s just how much she cares, and that’s how much she cares about everyone. She has lost so much in the name of him, and I could never be the friend to leave. My best friend has lost many close close friends for deciding to continuing to love him, and, to me, it was just those girls’ excuse. It was their excuse to drop someone in order to have less “friend responsibility”, as I like to call it.

It’s hard being my best friend’s best friend. She is the most beautiful girl on campus (her nickname is “hot – insert name here”), she’s spunky, talented, smart, and generally a really great person that everyone loves. She’s tiny, but where tiny reigns, intimidation conquers. Dropping her would be easy – yeah, for any person that’s heartless, lazy and dumb as shit. I digress, but I ask myself quite often, “who am I to judge her decisions when it comes to love?” Really, I’ve been in her shoes before, to a lesser degree, but still, we’ve ALL made decisions that look stupid on the surface when it comes to love. No matter what our hearts tell us, it usually looks really stupid to others. But it’s also easy to keep in mind the lessons that are always in store. When my best friend has her mind/heart made up, it’s done, no questions.

Maybe, one day he’ll grow up, or maybe he’s grown now, and he’ll finally see what’s sitting right in front of his face. Maybe, they’ll get married and have the best life together, or maybe, she would have wasted 4+ years of her life on him. Whatever she chooses, I will not leave her in the dark, and whatever she chooses, it is not for me to tell her what to do.

Whatever happens with my best friend and this relationship she’s been agonizing over and maintaining like a failing garden, there will always be lessons to be learned. And guess what, if you already don’t know, the heart wins, it always will, and we’re all just here for the ride. TC mark

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