1. Unless you are eating a once-in-a-lifetime meal that is made from the best meat in the world, marinated for 20 hours and grilled by God himself, I don’t care.
2. That coffee or frappe or latte or whatever it may be better be the only one of its kind if you want me to give two shits.
3. Your kid is cute….but not cute enough.
4. Oh it’s a holiday? Great! Please, by all means, post a thousand pictures of your “super cute outfit,” while opening your “super cool presents.” I really want to watch you with your “besties” while you drink a “super yummy drink.”
5. Chances are you’re trying way too hard to come up with a clever caption. Just…stop it.
6. If you post an OOTD (outfit of the day) every day of the week, I’m done with you.
7. Oh you’re dating someone? Cool! Really. If you’re happy, then I’m happy for you. That being said, if every single picture you post is a selfie with you and “the bae,” the novelty will fade and I will cease to give fucks.
8. Oh you’re doing the same thing everyone else is doing right now because it’s a traditional thing to do on this day? Good for you. Now how about you spare me the 8,000 pictures you’re going to post of something 99.9999% of the rest of the population is also doing right now.
9. Stop hash tagging things “no filter” when you very clearly used a filter. It doesn’t make you seem prettier. Just because you look totally flawless, does not mean you’re fooling anyone into believe XPRO did not play a role in this. All it does is make you look desperate for attention.
10. Ya know that one cool thing you did that one time that you remind us about every throwback Thursday? Stop that. We’ve seen all the pictures before. You’re done.
11. If you use the same person every week for man crush Monday or woman crush Wednesday, I’m seriously going to consider unfollowing you. I don’t want to see a picture of the same celebrity every week just because you “just love them so much.” And if your MCM or WCW your significant other, don’t. We know you have a crush on them, you’re dating them! You don’t have to remind us every week.
12. And finally, selfies. No. Please no.