I just finished reading Ryan Holiday’s Growth Hacker Marketing – a crisp illustration of new era marketing principles. The basic premise: Put your money into developing the product your customers want before it launches. Avoid launching first and then throwing your entire budget at advertising.
I wonder if this could apply to dating. I recently found I wasn’t satisfied with the quality of women I was attracting on OKCupid and Tinder.
My usual reaction is to search harder or open another profile. But isn’t this avoiding the real problem: My potential “customers” not being impressed with the “product” I’m putting out?
What if instead I went back to the drawing board and improved my “product”? What if I shut down my online dating profiles for a while and made myself more attractive?
Adam Carolla says women are attracted to success (rather than purely to money). Maybe I need to keep working on my professional goals. Women are naturally attracted to well-built men. Maybe I need to add weightlifting to my workout routine.
I can already hear my therapist saying: You’ve gotta accept yourself before anyone else will.
But that’s not the issue. I do accept myself. I’m a thoughtful, hardworking guy with above average looks, a decent career and a home. I’d make a great boyfriend.
The women I like aren’t seeing this. If they did I’d be attracting more of them. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that.
If the growth hacker mindset is the future of PR, maybe it can be the future of dating.
Deleting my profiles seems scary because I’m afraid of not having any prospects. But if it’s true that we usually meet someone when we stop looking – maybe there’s no better move.