7 Things I Would Look For In A Woman If I Were A Lesbian

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The title to this post is exceedingly self-explanatory.

Let me be clear: said title exists due to its relevance to this post. I am well aware that there are women who look for their own ideal characteristics in potential partners in other women daily and anyone who knows me knows that I support their right to do so to the fullest extent; this is not meant to present homosexuality as a novelty. The following thoughts were simply born of a lot of contemplation and an underlying curiosity.

As tempting as it was to create this post and to leave it blank with the exception of a big bolded BIG BOOTY BITCHES in the body, I’ve elaborated a bit.

True Confidence – Many associate confidence with arrogance, bitchyness, and general enjoyment of discordant interactions with fellow human beings. To the contrary, I’ve known plenty of women in my day and the truly confident woman is the one who supports other women as well as other human beings as a whole, treats others with respect, and isn’t afraid to step out of her comfort zone for a good cause.

1. Proportion – I wouldn’t care for overly large breasts or overly large ass in particular. I’d lust after nicely shaped everything and nice, tight muscle tone. Healthy habits and exercise are important; if you love someone, you want them to be happy and to be around for a while. It’s also true that overly sized body parts on women are used expressly as material for objectification and that just deadens the appeal for me.

2. A Face That Transcends The Generic – There are women who are absolutely beautiful while lacking any feature truly noteworthy; either the charisma or that little wisp of something different necessary to bring them to the next level. That’s what I would look for. A feature that brings some uniqueness to a face. A face that, when gazed upon, serves as reminder that you’re looking at The One And Only Beauty versus One Of The Beauties renders a woman a force to be reckoned with. Something needs to be different.

3. Quick Wit – There is nothing sexier than a person who can fire it back. I’m all for the soft-spoken, gentle type. Don’t get me wrong. Though I think I’d crave the partnership of someone who had the ability to challenge me (and everyone else) whilst effortlessly maintaining a good-natured undertone. Someone fast and clever, smart and able.

4. Not Afraid To Watch Porn – Hear me out on this one: when you know that a woman has watched porn and is completely okay with her partner watching porn, you know that not only is she confident enough in herself to be aware that this form of entertainment has nothing on her but that she likely understands the merit in letting her other half do their own thing: I am a bird. I don’t need my partner to be a bird if I’m a bird, I just need them to let me do my bird thing. Thank you, Notebook.

5. Well-Traveled – Women who have seen first-hand how people outside of their native culture live seem to be able to grasp that life isn’t all freesias and Kay Jewelers. It would be vital to me to be with a woman who understood how lucky we are to live the way that we do and that, as wrong as America’s 1% society is, America itself is the 1%.

6. LiberalThere have been studies to suggest that whether someone will subscribe to either liberal or conservative views is decided by the way that their brain is formed.

EXCERPT FROM ABOVE ABC ARTICLE: THE STUDIES LOOKED AT THINGS LIKE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GROUPS’ PERCEPTION OF EYE MOVEMENT, AND AVERSION TO THREATENING NOISES.  RESEARCHERS ALSO NOTED THAT DEMOCRATS HAD LARGER ANTERIOR CINGULATE CORTEXES, WHICH ARE ASSOCIATED WITH TOLERANCE TO UNCERTAINTY, WHILE REPUBLICANS HAD LARGER RIGHT AMYGDALAS, WHICH ARE ASSOCIATED WITH SENSITIVITY TO FEAR.”

It has also been widely discussed that surveys have consistently shown liberals to be more highly educated than their counterparts. Facts are facts, friends. Commence comment hate train below.

And lastly..

7. Knows What She Wants/What She’s Good At – Talent is an attractive thing. It is yet more attractive when someone can acknowledge their talents and utilize them to pursue goals. If she can freely state, “I’m great at science and am also incredibly uncoordinated,” thereby owning that she has faults, I’m impressed. Also just realized I spent this entire post describing something akin to myself. Off to narcissists anonymous in Shameland now. TTYL. TC mark

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