Thought Catalog

5 Things I Learned After Sleeping With Someone I Actually Like

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Artem Furman / (Shutterstock.com)
Artem Furman / (Shutterstock.com)

For the most part, sex is great. Yes, it can suck sometimes, especially when you’re doing it for the first time. But it’s never the same twice over. I lost my virginity at 22 to someone I thought I liked. He was a good guy, my friends loved him, and everything was great. And then shit went down and I never heard from him again. As usual he left me high and very dry.

I recently met someone new. I really like him. I slept with him for the first time last weekend, which was inevitable. Here’s what I learned when I slept with someone I actually like.

1. You can’t always make him cum.

And it’s probably because I liked him so much. I was afraid of doing something wrong. Either I was trying too hard or not trying at all.

2. He doesn’t want to know how insecure you are about your body.

I do not have the perfect figure. I preferred to keep my top on. He didn’t mind, but he was offended that I was insecure. He began concentrating on ways to make me comfortable. Eventually the top came off. And it was liberating.

3. He tastes different when you actually like him.

And he tastes so much better! I think it was the best head I’d given and he should get most of the credit for it.

4. Making love is better than having sex.

It sounds super-cheesy and I laughed at my roommate when she said this to me all those months ago. But truer words have never been spoken. When you actually like the guy you’re in bed with, you just want to melt into him, to become his and stay there forever. I know this because it happened to me. I stayed there until he had to leave and I’ve been waiting to meet again ever since.

5. You know he actually likes you back when conversations are more than just sexting.

We talk all the time. It’s like sleeping with each other is something that happened to us but isn’t the basis of everything we do. In fact, we haven’t sexted even once. Yet I know that all I want now is for him to get into bed and make love to me. TC mark

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Cut yourself some slack. One of the biggest regrets most people have about their 20s is that they didn’t enjoy them more. And I’m not talking about “buy more expensive dinners, take another trip to Thailand” type of enjoyment. I mean having the ability to take a deep breath and sip coffee in the morning knowing that you have done, and are doing, your best.

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