1. That awkward moment when you think you’re so superior and you don’t need to hold on to the rails and the train stops and you find yourself flailing wildly across the subway floor.
2. When the subway is incredibly full and you find yourself squashed in the middle face to face with someone. Like, do I look away? Do I look directly at you? Should you look away? What??
3. When the subway shuts down in a tunnel and the lights go out and you find yourself suddenly struck with a fit of claustrophobia and the panic quickly escalates to you wanting to hurl all over the floor and you’re trying to desperately inform people by covering your mouth and making animated gestures but they don’t move and you end up throwing up anyway.
4. When the subway is incredibly full and you know that you have to get off at the next stop so you find yourself panicking and trying to nudge yourself through the crowd to get to the door before it’s too late
5. When you accidentally swipe your bus pass upside down and make a full blown ram through those turnstiles and bruising your crotch. Then there’s always the line of people behind you waiting for you to get it right. So much pressure!
6. When you hear the familiar chime of the subway closing but you still think you can make it and you gear up and rush for the doors, only to have them slam in your face. Then you’re left hovering at the door while all the disapproving looks of those who made it pass you by.
7. When someone falls asleep on you (EEK!) and you need to get off at the next stop and you end up shoving them off.
8. When the train is somewhat quiet and you don’t realize that the entire carriage is getting a full front row seat to your iPod’s playlist. Then that Bieber song you’ve been meaning to delete starts pounding through your headphones.
9. When your ticket or transfer isn’t accepted and you have to shamefully back out of the subway and walk away.
10. When the subway conductor sees you pelting full throttle towards the subway or rail car but just closes the door and glides off anyway.
11. When you’re next to a couple engaging in some heavy PDA action and you’re wondering if you should look away but you end up staring anyway.
12. When there are a large variety of seats to choose from yet this one individual thinks it’s necessary to sit next to you.
13. When you get that driver who personally makes it a thing to see everyone fall over so you get in the bus and he lurches forward and you find yourself half running half stomping through the bus in order to stop yourself from toppling over.
14. When you fall asleep and your head is doing that weird bopping thing and swinging in every direction until you hit the pole, wake up with that stupid look on your face and realize everyone’s staring.
15. When the subway is quiet and you don’t realize that you’re the only one having a conversation with someone and the entire subway carriage is just hanging on to your every word.
16. When you’re the only one in the bus at night and you’re wondering if to scoot closer and strike up a conversation but you’re too afraid he’s actually a serial killer who’s going to deliberately miss your stop and speed off.
17. When you see a somewhat elderly person who you should give up your seat for but you’re terrified that they’ll reject you and actually be offended that you think they’re that old.
18. When that guy stands behind you and every time the subway halts or even when it makes the slightest nudge, he swings forward and tries to accidentally rub his crotch on your butt. UGH!
19. When you’re close to the door and you’re trying to be polite and get out so that people behind you can exit but when the new hoard of people race for the door, you end up getting left behind.
20. When you quickly grab onto the subway pole without looking and before you know it you’ve accidentally caressed someone’s hand or worse yet, groped it. Should I let go? Should I just move up the pole? Forget it; let’s just go on a date already! (FACEPALM)