I’m That Racist White Guy

Christos Georghiou / (Shutterstock.com)
Christos Georghiou / (Shutterstock.com)

In case you were wondering, it’s me. I’m that racist white guy you have nightmares about.

I’m the white guy who wakes up in the morning, thinking only of how to prevent black people from being able to live a normal life.

I’m the white guy who will see a black person walk along the street and instantly get the urge to beat him down for no reason other than the fact that he’s black.

I’m the white guy who walks in to a Chinese or Indian shop just to cause problems for people who look different than me.

I’m the white guy who doesn’t want black people to live next to me, work with me, or have anything to do with any member of my family.

I’m the white guy who sees black folks in public and starts making monkey noises and throwing bananas at them.

I’m the white guy who pulls burkas off Muslim women.

I’m the white guy who gets robbed and beaten down without seeing the perpetrator, and then claims it was some black guy.

I’m the white guy who runs up to random old Chinese women in the street shouting, “Ching chong chang chung!”

I’m the white guy who tells my Indian neighbor to fuck off back to their own country because their hot spicy curry stinks.

I’m the white guy who tells black and Asian people who were born in the same country as me to fuck off home.

I’m the white guy who laughs when I see an African man in a suit and suggests he would be more at home in the jungle.

I’m the white guy who knocks on black people’s doors with a white sheet over my head and punches them in the face when they open it.

I’m the white guy who rejects potential black or Asian employees as soon as I see their name on paper.

I’m the white guy who accidently hires a black or Asian person just because they had a Western-sounding name, then, when I realize who they are, I find a reason to get rid of them.

I’m the white guy who stands and joins in with a pack of white people on the sidewalk who hurl racist abuse at little old black ladies.

I’m the white guy who vandalizes any black or Asian community center … oh, and Jewish ones, too—I can’t stand Jews!

I’m the white guy who runs in to a black history class and causes havoc.

I’m the white guy who calls Arabs dirty and smelly.

I’m the white guy who assumes Chinese people know karate and keeps making weird karate noises whenever they are around. When it pisses them off, I do it even more.

I’m the white guy who mocks Bollywood films.

I’m the white guy who thinks affirmative action is a scam against white people.

I’m the white guy who doesn’t like Barack Obama just because he’s black.

I’m the white guy who thinks Mexicans blink too often.

I’m the white guy whose whole purpose of living is to be racist. I eat it, I drink it, I sleep it, I think it, I live it!

I tell you I’m that white guy! Or perhaps I’m not. Perhaps that’s just what I am to you. It’s what you’ve tried shaping me into so you can blame any misfortunes in your life on me, the evil white man who wants to hold you back and make your life miserable. TC mark

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