1. Why I snort when I laugh at 22 years of age. (More importantly why this trait waited to come out until I was 22.)
2. Why no matter what, I sound like a kid who just hit puberty when I talk on the phone with someone I’m trying to impress.
3. Why like clockwork, I always think of the perfect Halloween costume the day after Halloween.
4. Why there’s such a big difference in your mood when you’re un-showered and showered. Like not kidding, I’ll wake up in the morning and the change is so drastic it’s like I lived in the forest for a year.
5. Why I can’t pronounce ‘genuinely’ without sounding extremely pretentious and annoying.
6. While we’re on pronunciation, why there are people out there who pronounce ‘milk’ and ‘pillow’ like ‘melk’ and ‘pellow.’
7. Why people have fish as pets. Is it for aesthetic reasons? Or do they actually have some attachment to this fish? Seriously, someone clarify.
8. And on that note, why people hate cats so much? Can we all realize cats are like mini-lions?! That is so badass.
9. Why people say they don’t like the ‘taste’ of water. Water is tasteless, do they know this?
10. Why I can speak two languages and drive standard yet somehow still cut myself and miss massive chunks while shaving?
11. Why I don’t love my best guy friend. He’s perfect and we love each other so much. Just not in ‘that’ way. Life would be so much easier if I just loved him that way.
12. Why my 16-year-old neighbor is cooler than me. Is this some sort of joke?
13. Why my cat only likes me when I’m drunk.
14. Why auto correct changes ‘lovr ‘to ‘lobes’ (who are these people that use lobes more than love in regular day conversation?) but can’t seem to find what’s wrong with ‘eachother’. Hint: it needs a space.
15. Why redheads are just so naturally cool. Seriously, have you sat down to talk to a ginger? They’re awesome.
16. Why, of all the songs on someone’s iPod, a Christmas song will always rank as one of the most-played.
17. Why people have bumper stickers that say “honk if you…” if they don’t actually want you to honk and give you the finger when you do.
18. People who “just aren’t dessert people.” Studies should be done.
19. Why anyone ever bought the Shake Weight.
20. Why no matter how much effort I put in and regardless of how many hours I spend questioning these things, I will never find an answer to any of these questions.