A little about myself – in 2006 I studied and was a big part of a community that taught guys how to pickup women and then for the years to follow I managed a YouTube channel that centralized itself in pickup.
I liked what I learned and loved the work I was doing. If you’re going into it with great intentions you’ll realize that pickup isn’t really about getting women, rather it’s a way to make a great lifestyle change, increase your social intellect, and build confidence for your everyday life. Now I’ve seen some stuff, and this experience has taught me a lot about the subject I’m writing about.
I’m writing this piece because this has been bothering me for some time. I, like any other straight male, have a sense of privilege to be able to go up to any woman and do my best to see if there is chemistry between us. We see fit that if you see an attractive woman – you must approach her, flirt with her, and seduce her.
The Mantra: The idea of letting a potential soul mate run off into the distance is just plain ludicrous. (If didn’t follow this mantra I wouldn’t be with my current partner today… she is gorgeous and amazing by the way).
To make this an even more incentivizing mantra, we’ll give the straight male kudos and heavy affirmations if he’s able to get the woman’s number (or even more) on the spot. Things like, “You’re the man!” “I’m jealous, you’re legit!” “He’s just too suave and too good.” Of course not every approach goes well and at even some cases the woman might think the guy is a little weird. But, for the most part, the benefits for a straight male to approach any woman outweigh negative.
I’ll repeat this in a different way.
Remember how I said that if you see an attractive woman you must approach her? In reality, the lens you should view it from is if you’re a straight male and see an attractive woman – you CAN approach her, you CAN flirt with her, and you CAN seduce her, knowing full well that you’re not really putting yourself in any life or any social threatening danger.
What is it like for a straight woman?
There is a sad misconception that if a woman approaches a man she finds attractive she’s automatically considered to be a slut or just too easy. Many times I’ve heard her described in this manner, “She wants the D! What a whore,” or any other related sexual epithet.
From observation and experience it’s a very common theme that women get sh*tted on by other straight males if she makes the first move. And, I’m even talking about completely sober women who go up to see if there is a chance that this attractive man is compatible with her. Is it really right for her to be called a whore?
Think about this double standard for a second.
The prospect for a woman to go up to a man she finds attractive is limiting. What if he’s her soul mate or some hot guy who she wants to have a fun experience with? She can, but she really can’t due to the consequences of how we’ll treat her.
Sometimes the best a woman can do is send subtle hints like walk by with a glance, move her hair out of the way, and make any sort of small glowing impression. But even then I’ve seen guys proceed with derogatory statements (whore wants the D). It’s not right to negatively criticize a woman’s sexual right to choose.
We do not have the right to grant or limit any woman’s decision to approach anyone she wants. By calling her names we’re doing just that. If we change our mindset and our attitude I think more women won’t have the desire to hesitate if they see a guy they find attractive.
And what is it like if you’re a gay man?
A rejection for a straight man is in more cases than not, social embarrassment. It’s completely different if you’re a gay man:
A gay man can’t just walk up to any guy he sees without the underlying theme that his life could be at risk: a man who isn’t comfortable with his sexuality going on full attack. If his life isn’t in danger another big risk is being bullied and gay bashed. I’ve seen an uncomfortable straight man violently shove another man for approaching him.
To test this out I approached a man and said he was cute to which he responded, “I’m not gay you f*ggot.” I can only imagine the stress and tension gay men go through just to step forward and contemplate if there is chemistry between another random man walking across the street.
It happens because of homophobia that is subconsciously triggered in our heads. No matter how progressive we’re moving these situations are still widespread as we speak.
It also happens due to our peers. For example, I’ve seen too often when a straight man gets approached by a gay man he is then called names from his buddies because is own heterosexuality was compromised and questioned. So thus he deserves to get bashed. This type of teasing gives straight men an even bigger incentive to be as crude and aggressive to gay men who approach them.
But this doesn’t stop for gay men. This risk is very apparent to gay women, transgender, or any gender-identity that doesn’t define as a straight male.
I feel if you come from the LGBTQPA community and you go up to hit on someone, that you’re not taking a chance on love – you’re taking a chance on your life.
So if you’re a straight male, please think about this because we need to take a step back and check ourselves. We need to stop this nonsense and just grow up.