Sometimes it’s difficult to be true to yourself. You have been brought up in a community where everyone expects something in particular from everyone else and if you don’t meet those expectations, you are immediately frowned upon. This could be your family, your next door neighbours and sometimes even your best friends.
You have built up this character and almost every moment of your life when you are surrounded by others you are acting. You put on a smile and nod along to what everyone else agrees with. You claim you enjoy listening to certain styles of music because that is all your friends listen to. You only claim to have interest in particular kinds of guys because you know you’re family will not accept anything else.
It’s an insane life and it is slowly driving you crazy but you compel yourself to believe that you are in the wrong. You blame yourself for being stubborn and irresponsible for thinking that you should want more out of life. You’re surrounded by wealth, an amazing family, friends, an impressive job and on your way to securing a master’s degree. What else could one possibly need in life?
Nevertheless you still stay up night after night staring at the moon outside your room window conjuring plans as to how you’re going to break away from this bound and do something for yourself. You want to go travelling alone and explore foreign towns and mountain peaks. You no longer want to be sitting behind a desk all day every day. You want to be able to get drunk and not worry about how others will judge you. You want to meet strangers and learn of their experiences in life. You want to get lost in a city where you don’t speak the native language with no technology to rely on.
You say you will make this happen. You say that you will move away from the life that has had boundaries set around you.
Morning comes yet you still wake up at 6 a.m. to get ready for another day of diarised work. The same monotonous life that you dread is all you see yourself doing. Why? Because you’re afraid. Afraid to lose the reputation you have built up. Afraid that you will not be accepted for whom you truly are and what you really think about when you’re alone. Afraid to lose your best friends who think that they know you but in reality have no idea about what you really like.
Will there ever be a day that you will be true to yourself and do what your heart truly desire? The chances appear slim but it’s all down to you. You may have to break close ties you have built up over time and it will result in tears and heart breaks. But you have one life and if you don’t live it to your desire then no one will be to blame but yourself. If someone truly loves you, they will understand and support you regardless of what it is you want to do. So don’t waste another moment sitting behind that desk staring at a computer screen questioning your choices in life.
Be brave and believe in yourself. Take one step forward and show others who you truly are. Spread those wings and learn to fly because until you try it will simply be a dream and you will never know how it feels to actually be wild and free…