1. Manhattan-ers disguised as Brooklyn-ites
There are certain people who live in this borough who, for whatever reason, thought that Brooklyn would be a new and exciting adventure. They have lived in Manhattan for years and think that buying a pair of skinny jeans and a flannel will make them transition from a natural bread Upper East Sider to a Brooklynite. The reality of it is that, no, I do not want to receive an email invite to a sushi tasting “blowout” that you will be hosting in your overpriced Williamsburg apartment. Thanks anyway.
2. People obsessed with “gentrification”
Certainly, this is just about everybody’s favorite topic, word, noun, etc. The truth of it is, though, that those born and raised in Brooklyn are few and far between anymore. Saying that “you should give Brooklyn back to the Lenape Indians because they were here first” is just ridiculous. New York in general is made up of people from all around the world; always has been, always will be. This borough is young, trendy, and current. There is really nothing anyone can do about it, and complaining definitely doesn’t help.
Sidenote: having lived here for 2 years does not qualify you to even think about this word.
3. Bushwick “artists”
How is it possible that you have an entire room in your very spacious loft apartment just for your “art?” What is it that you actually do?! How do you pay rent?! We do not comprehend!
4. Girls who are obsessed with ‘GIRLS’
Yes, everyone loves Lena Dunnham. How could you not? The problem with her incredibly addicting HBO sitcom, though, is that it gives people an almost-accurate-but-not-entirely-realistic view of life in BK. “Have you ever accidentally smoked crack at an amazing underground rave? And then accidentally got naked and ran through the streets? And then ended up falling in love with an older man? All in the same night?!” No, actually. Close…. But not quite.
5. Rude baristas
People love coffee. Your job is to serve coffee to people. The least you could do is smile back, instead of looking as if you’re going to eat the face of the next person who asks you for soymilk in their latte. (This applies to bartenders, as well)
6. Young parents
Nothing is more disheartening than seeing a beautiful, well-dressed, young couple with their equally beautiful and well-dressed toddler. It’s just not fair. With everyone’s low-key attitudes and general disinterest in life, it’s nearly impossible for most to exchange casual conversation, let alone find a spouse?! Like, damn.