Sometimes I like to read the m4m posts on Craigslist just for fun. I saw an ad for a guy whose headline was “Talented Cocksucker Here” and I was curious. Getting my dick sucked is my favorite sexual activity, and there aren’t a lot of girls out there who really love doing it. This means I always feel like I’m begging to get my dick sucked, which kind of defeats the whole purpose of getting your dick sucked.
So I click this guy’s profile and I’m rock hard thinking about somebody sucking me off and there’s a headless pic of him with his dick out, a turn off, but I read the text of the ad:
Young expert cocksucker here looking for straight/bi/masculine gay guys who need to get sucked off. Private glory hole. I swallow. 25, Evanston.
I sent him an email from my spam account, don’t know why. He responds within minutes. Turns out he only lived a couple blocks away, and I was so curious and so horny at this point that as long as I didn’t have to touch his dick or interact with him sexually, I was down to give this glory hole thing a try.
With all the Craigslist murders and what not you’d think I’d be scared, but I wasn’t really worried about anything. He emailed me his address — I didn’t give him my phone number because I don’t really know if I want a guy with a glory hole in his apartment to have my phone number, you know? Since I had already been masturbating with my lube of preference, I showered up real fast and walked over.
I show up at the door, “Hey I’m here,” and he emails me back to just walk in. So I go in. It’s dark, the smell of incense burning and judging by this whole set up, something tells me I’m not the first dick he’s sucked tonight.
“Over here,” I hear him say. I follow his voice in the dark, confident that no one was going to like pop out, stab me, wrap my carcass in a bag and toss me in the Lake.
I’m led to a giant slab of cardboard situated in a doorway. It’s covering the whole doorway from top to bottom. A hole is cut in the middle that’s large enough to handle men of all sizes — height as well as dick size.
“I’m ready when you are,” he says. Mind you, I still haven’t seen this guy. He has not offered me a glass of water. There was not a “pleased to meet you.” I don’t even know what he looks like, just the few pictures he emailed me, if that’s even really him.
Feeling antsy, I guess, a finger reaches through the hole, kind of like how you rub your hands together to indicate you’re about to dig into a delicious meal.
I unzip and put myself through.
I don’t know why I trust this guy. I don’t know why I don’t think he will chop my penis off or bite me or puke on me or draw a happy face on my dick with a Sharpie or do something else scary and newsworthy. But I’m too focused on the pleasure to be worried.
Everything feels really good. As he’s working on me sometimes he pulls off, waits a moment before going back on, and I wonder if there is more than one cocksucker back there as part of this operation.
Most guys are super lazy and want to get their dicks sucked without having to reciprocate or do anything else to their sex partner. This is the ultimate proof of that. All I have to do is stand here, get sucked off, finish whenever I finish and leave. It’s an act removed from sexual orientation if you really think about it. Sort of mechanical, like sex vending machine. I bet it if there were a vending machine that a guy could stick his dick in and it would feel exactly like a blow job, he would do it. A lot. So, this is basically that. A straight guy getting sucked off at a gay glory hole is really just trying to bust a nut, nothing more, nothing less. It’s like I’m just picking up a Coke, la dee dah.
Guys have sexual needs, you know? And any guy who masturbates frequently understands that sometimes jacking off can get a little boring. You get so used to coming that it doesn’t even feel fun anymore. I feel like masturbating is similar to any drug: sometimes you do it too much and you feel numb. You jack off because you can do it, not really for the pleasure. But when you masturbate as much as I do, to feel anything beyond normal you have to keep raising the stakes, you have to keep taking greater and greater risks.
Back to the blow job, which feels awesome by the way. There’s something awesome about having someone who is so eager to blow you, who doesn’t ask annoying, boner-killing questions like “Are you close” or who slow down or who get tired or lose enthusiasm. I last 10 minutes but when I finish he keeps going and after a bit I’m hard again, so I guess I’m going to come again.
So hey, future girlfriends: a gay guy in a glory hole sucked my dick and I sort of liked it.
On the walk back to my apartment he emails me to tell me that I taste good and that he hopes he’ll see me again. I don’t email him back. I go back into my dorm and play video games with my roommate like nothing ever happened.