First off, let me say this: This is not intended to bash those who don’t save their first time for marriage. As I hope you’ll see, I try not to be too terribly judgey about how other people live their lives. This is mainly to show people that saving yourself doesn’t mean you are a prude, nor does it mean you are some stuck up religious bitch who thinks she is better than everyone else.
Second, I do believe in God, and I’ve witnessed his miracles a couple times in my life. That being said, I am not a particularly religious person, and I don’t go to a church regularly, mainly because when I did I found that I was getting much more caught up in the drama that comes with churches of the South than I was in His word.
Honestly, if I had to name my religion I don’t think I could, but it’s something like “Be a good person and do the best you can. Be kind to others as well as yourself.”
All of that being said, I’m not saving myself for marriage because of my religion. I don’t think it makes you a bad person if you genuinely love someone and have sex before marriage. There are a lot of people in the world who became parents or were born from a pregnancy out of wedlock, and a lot of great people who didn’t wait for marriage who have made this world a great place to live, and for that I am thankful. I’m saving myself for marriage, because I think sex has a whole lot more to do with trust than anything else.
As a woman who isn’t exactly in the best shape of my life, trusting someone so completely with my body is a scary thought. An excitingly scary thought, yes, but scary none the less. You are trusting this person with one of the most intimate parts of your life, and I can’t personally fathom trusting someone so completely unless I am married to them.
I have been pressured by peers, by the media, and sometimes by my own hormones to throw all of my reservations out the window and give in to everything from the outside, but I know that on the inside, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I’ve been called a prude, a bitch, and stuck up just to name a few when I have been asked about the subject, and that’s really why I’m writing this. By expecting people to not judge you for making the choice to have sex before marriage, you should be required to respect other’s decisions to do the opposite.
The “bitch” comment has come primarily from guys, and that’s a pretty good representation of exactly why I’ll wait until my “one” has come along. If I suddenly become a bitch because I won’t let you have sex with me, then you obviously don’t respect me enough to have sex with me anyway. “Prude” has come in both the form of good natured teasing from friends, and catty comments from people who think I think I am better than them because of my choice. Again, I’m not trying to judge anyone else for their choices about sex, because it’s a deeply personal choice either way. I’m fully aware that we are all sexual beings, and that is totally fine. I don’t take sexual comments or jokes personally, or get upset by them because they’re usually meant in a joking manner, and if they aren’t, the person making them is either not being vulgar or not someone I’m choosing to share my life with but rather someone who is simply passing through it.
I really don’t understand the stuck up comment, because like I’ve said, I’m not judging you for your choices, but if you ask me “Have you had sex?” and I reply point blank “No, I’m saving myself for marriage.” And you take that as my being stuck up, I think the real problem is you, not me.
We all need to stop judging people for their sexual choices. We need to remember that every person on this earth is on a different journey from ours, and we have no room to judge them, so let’s stop making this the Virgins vs. the Whores and start making this Humans co-existing with Humans.