Here’s What Will Happen To Your Wife After You Marry Her

It’s over.

No, really. People always say men are about the chase–but it’s women. They’re in a chase to find a man and lock him down.

Everything you love about her, you will discover, is a carefully constructed farce to make you think she’s fun, that she’s your friend, that a lifetime with her will be exactly like it is while you’re dating–maybe better. Women do this on purpose because they know the reality will attract no man.

Don’t fall for it.

We never have sex, ever. We never talk about anything interesting, ever.

What I want–and what I would venture most men want–is a fun person who knows how to keep things interesting on a mental and physical level. I don’t know why this is a difficult thing to find. I am this way? I’ve met lots of women who seem this way. I’ve married two of them. Both times I was rudely awakened when all the effort the put into the relationship–the sweetness, the sex, the intrigue–dropped off steeply after the wedding.

How do you find a quality woman that isn’t putting on an act?

I certainly was much tougher to please the second time around, and all that effort failed to produce results.

She stopped going after goals in life. She isn’t interested in her work anymore and has hinted that she’d like to be a stay at home wife (like my first wife was). What she would do with the free time, I can’t say. When we were dating she was brimming with insights on news and culture, now it’s just reality show trash. She used to run. Actually, when we met she told me she was training for a marathon. All through our dating life she was training for that marathon. Now she hasn’t been out in months.

I feel tricked.

Maybe women are just different than men? Maybe we are incompatible. Perhaps looking at pinterest and working on crafts is just as interesting to women as sex and political conversations are to me and my buddies. But that’s not good enough for me.

God, I wish I was gay.