Back when I started blogging in 2008, no one knew what a blog was. To most, it was just another internet fad that would eventually fade away over time. But surprise! It’s still around, and if you’re really good at it, you’re probably making money off it.
However, these days blogs are a dime a dozen with little to no authenticity. I mean, even the Huffington Post went all Nancy Drew on “Cupcakes and Cashmere” blogger Emily Schuman by calling her out for plagiarizing recipes, ideas and yadda yadda yadda. Scintillating stuff.
So before you get all Tonya Harding on me for blogger bashing, hear me out on why I can’t stand most of them:
1. You’ve dubbed yourself an expert when you’re not an expert
You’re magically an editor, a graphic designer, a photographer, an entrepreneur, a fashion columnist, a foody, and whatever other accolades you’ve added to your Linkedin. Hey, that’s awesome you’re exploring new interests you enjoy, bravo! But using Polyvore to create outfit collages doesn’t make you a graphic designer. Ya hear me?
2. Your life is too perfect
Why does it seem like most bloggers are always skipping down Main Street, USA? From weekly champagne brunches to feeding your toddlers (who are dressed disgustingly well, btw) gourmet treats, you’re all mystifying creatures. Yet, as I read your latest brunch post while devouring a boring tuna sandwich on my lunch break, I only resent you THIIIIIS much because I know no one really lives that way. Do you really live that way? No one really eats macarons for dessert every night do they? Or DO THEY?! (*shudders in fear*) Where my girls capitalizing on free wifi from the neighbors and watching every episode of Orange is the New Black until their eyes bleed at? The day someone is candid enough to blog about this is the day I stop Tweeting photos of me in my jammies on a Saturday night. Give me reality, people.
3. You’re not authentic
You give a girl a point and shoot camera and show her a Photoshop tutorial and suddenly she’s a lifestyle blogger. Yes, I see your #OOTD, your paleo cupcake recipe and your Friday Faves, how could I miss it? It’s on every single one of my news feeds! But guess what? It’s nothing new. Yes, I admit to reading it because who doesn’t want to know how to make a cupcake without flour? But I just wish someone would blow me away with a little creativity every now and then. I’ve seen enough quinoa recipes, and please, no more photos of you posing in front of a brick wall wearing the Zac Posen for Target collection. Make your blog YOUR blog, not everyone elses.
4. Your layout is so outdated I can’t EVEN
From hot pink text on a turquoise background to using Papyrus as your body text, I just can’t. WordPress should personally boot you off their platform.
5. You’re nothing but a comment fisher
I see you commenting on tons of blogs and casually posting your link below your signature. I know what you’re up to. I know you think you’re fooling fellow bloggers into believing you really love their blog, but we all know you’re fishing for more followers. SO obvi.