It’s something that you used to say annoyed you…you said you never understood why twenty-somethings dated people they weren’t really into. What’s the point? So what if other people our age are in serious relationships? We’re still young, right?
But now here you are, back together with an ex, whom you know you don’t really have feelings for or you are dating the one guy in your life giving you an ounce of attention right now…WHY? Why are you doing this if you know he’s just a safety net and that you are using him because he won’t ever leave you…after all, you’re the best he will ever get…it’s time to admit to yourself that even though you don’t know exactly what it is that you want out of life just yet…you have that gut feeling, that feeling in the pit of your stomach that is screaming HE’S NOT THE ONE, STOP PRETENDING, ABORT MISSION!
You know this is true because you dumped him before! You just cannot picture waking up next to him day after day, for the rest of your life!…that image actually makes your heart sink.
And don’t…don’t give me that bullshit that if you try hard enough you can really fall for a person. NO. That’s not how it works.
Am I naïve for believing in that instant, crazy, inexplicable lust/love at first sight? No really…even if you are “just” friends with a guy at first, you know there was that moment when you first met him that you entertained the thought of dating him someday or at least fucking him… It’s called attraction, and whether it’s lust or love, it’s there the moment you first meet someone, it’s not just going to “happen eventually”. You are fooling yourself if you believe that. You may have everyone else fooled, but not me.
I know he doesn’t do it for you. I know you want so desperately to believe that investing your time and efforts into him will eventually lead to love.
,,,Or maybe I’m fooling myself…. But I know that I can never date someone I had no chemistry with in hopes that over time he’d just become “the one” overnight. Nope, call me a dreamer… I’d rather that than settle, which is exactly what you are doing…at 23 years old. How tragic.