1. A watched pot never boiled.
False. I watched a pot for 16 minutes and it began to boil before my eyes.
2. Time heals all wounds.
False. Neosporin heals most wounds. Not once did WebMD recommend time.
3. Third time’s the charm.
I really wanted this one to work but on the third time I tried to seduce the mailman I just had more awful bad luck.
4. You have to spend money to make money.
Not true if you’re spending that money on weed and those Arizona ice tea tall boys.
5. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
This statement does not even THINK to consider mole people.
6. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
This does not account for going through tunnels at nighttime.
7. Still waters run deep.
Maybe this one could pass if I could get some ACTUAL BAROMETRIC MEASUREMENTS.
8. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Wrong, because birds are actually WORTHLESS.
9. Blood is thicker than water.
10. There is no reason to cry over spilled milk.
Have you even heard of the Great Depression???
11. Go the extra mile.
Bad advice, very dangerous; my brother once inflamed his knee very badly doing this.
12. When it rains it pours.
Obviously true. Except in cases of drizzle, but that’s not rain that’s drizzle. A good sister idiom for this could be, “When it drizzles, it drizzles.”
13. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover.
Unless it’s a romance novel then you get a lot of what you see on the cover.