1. You publicly bragged about “beautiful girls” sending you “sexy” photos when you made me believe I was the only girl you were romantically involved with at the time.
2. I would always catch you saying ‘Remember that time when we……” Each time you would ask that, I had to correct you and let you know that for example, I wasn’t the girl who you ordered Thai food with that month.
3. You said you weren’t sleeping around, but we both know how I caught you in that lie.
4. You would constantly say you would prefer heart over beauty any day because “men tend to age better than woman” and if you “marry for looks, you will be miserable.” Well Guess what? You chose looks over my heart and you look tired and worn out for your age and I look 27 going on 17.
5. All those times you were in town before having to leave again for work, you said you were busy or with the guys. I didn’t know all your guy friends were whores that looked like trashy strippers and the reason why you were busy was because you had to go have sex.
6. You told me that you don’t need to be with a girl who is “jealous” of your “attractive girlfriends” and that is why you were single. Newsflash: you are single because no one wants to deal with the bullshit from a man who is so insecure that he needs 300 girls that are friends. And who am I jealous of? The girl with huge, saggy boobs or the girl with the same last name as you? Because incest isn’t weird or anything.
7. FYI: Instagram tells your friends what photos you happen to “like”. These photos include: girls in their underwear, girls not wearing any underwear, girls with tattooed eyebrows and the best kind, the girls who are between the ages of 16 to 19.
8. You posted a photo from the movies once and said it was from the week before. I knew it was from the night before and I knew you went with her. I also never really noticed your jeans of choice until that photo. They are awfully baggy and weird. Not cute.
9. Finally, you are a disgusting pig because for some reason you felt like telling me everything I wanted to hear all while stringing me along. I blame myself though, because anything you needed from me, I gave to you. You allowed me to feel hurt, lonely and heartbroken while you fed me the “I’ve just been extremely busy” line over and over again. I didn’t deserve any of this. Maybe you will just have to accept that fact that you will be stuck in a lonely, dirty pig pen for the rest of your life.
PS- Don’t think for one second you would make a delicious tasting bacon. Because you wouldn’t. And I’ve never met bacon I didn’t like.