I am proud of my profession. I enjoy what I do very much. I wouldn’t call myself a porn “star” because I’m only remotely known, but I do hope that changes in the future. I know that some people would and do judge me for what I do but I don’t care– I make decent money and I have a hell of a great time doing it. But I’m here today, writing, because I think there’s something to be said about lesbian porn, something I do often.

I have done many scenes with men (I’m a woman) but over the past year or so, I’ve been doing more and more lesbian scenes. Now, let’s get something straight (pun intended). Let’s call it what it is: girl on girl. It’s not made for lesbians. In fact, I’ve had numerous directors who intentionally put a variety of phallic things in the scenes to appeal to a straight audience. I think it’s sad, honestly. I identify as a bisexual, I’m emotionally attracted to women and I believe I will end up with one eventually, but I am sexually attracted to men. I think it’s sad that there are so few channels for women to watch what lesbian sex is really like. For those of you who are questioning their sexuality and maybe even turning to porn to check out some things in the lady lovin’ world, there are some things you should know.

1. Lesbian porn is not made for lesbians, and so the constant use of huge dildos and strap ons is not for all lesbians. Don’t think you NEED that penis to really be fucked by a girl. You absolutely 100% do not. If you like it, awesome! BUT don’t think that just because that’s what the porn stars use that that’s what lesbian sex requires. Not true.

2. Lesbian porn seems to mimic heterosexual sex in that the fingering and oral sex is the foreplay to the “main event” that involves some kind of phallic shaped item. Then there is one (or maybe two) orgasms– which are usually faked– and that’s it. But that’s not how real lesbian sex tends to work, nor is it how it MUST work. What heterosexuals consider foreplay lesbians consider sex and the thing is that it shouldn’t be looked at as somehow a lesser experience. In fact, I believe that the control of one’s fingers, the ability to put more or less in, the ability to touch certain parts in specific motions and while inside actually makes for a better experience, but that’s just me.

3. Even if one or both of the actors is a real lesbian and especially if they are a bit more masculine, they’ll be made up to look extremely feminine and will often play the role of being “straight girls gone bad.” There’s no “rule” that says this is how it should be, nor is it something that anybody necessarily directs one to do, but it’s just what happens. In my experience, I’ve been more dolled up for lesbian sex scenes than other ones. Extensions are put in, eyelashes on, nails painted, the works.

4. It’s not usually that good. The director usually wants to get a shot of the vagina being licked or fingered so you can’t really get that up close and into it… but you have to moan anyway.

5. There’s no conversation when you’re making porn. In my real lesbian sex experiences, I usually very much support if not insist that we be vocal with one another and communicate what feels good, what doesn’t, what works, what doesn’t, higher, lower, left, right, you know how it goes. Such is not the case in porn. You can’t stop because they’re rubbing your clit in an uncomfortable way. Largely, it isn’t that great.

6. If you want to know what lesbian sex is like, have it in real life. It’s much more intimate, sensual, honest and human. If you want to get off on it, have a field day, but don’t worry if your sex life looks nothing like that which you watch on the internet. It’s not really supposed to anyway.